Life — July 1, 1909 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“A Toast to the Ladies” (Written by an Old-Fashioned Country Gentle- man at 2 o'clock in the morning when his Wife has got tired of telefoning him to come Home, & he is feeling, naturally, quite Chivalrous.) “The Ladies—God bless ‘em, So long as they're quiet ! Our offspring they dress ‘em And ‘tend to their diet They train our young daughters And tutor our heirs— So what should they know About Public Affairs? The Duck in her pudd' The Dove in her cote Should Birdies like these Be permitted to vote? “The Ladies—God bless ‘em, Our troubles they share ‘em; So lock ‘em awa In the Parlor (or Harem). We give them Ideas, We pay for their chains— And what is more sweet Than a Wife without brains? So here's to the Angels We foster with elegance, Bless their sweet eyebrows— But d—n their intelli Live is published British Possession: ayearin'advance. Additional Union, $1.08 a year; to Canada, Scents. Stngle current copies, 1 cents, Months from date of publication, 25 cents. No contribution will be returned nuless accompanied by stamped and addressed envelope. Live Not His Fault Tue Port: Poets are born, not made. Tue Girt: I know, I wasn't blaming you.— Boston Transcript. VOR ar UNCLE SAM THE DAY AFTER THE FOURTH “Yes,” said the returned huni “T had a narrow escape from a rhinoceros.’ “And what saved you? "’ “The fact that the rhinoceros could not climb a tree had something to do with it,’” responded the hunter, modestly. —Public Ledger. Preface or Appendix A prominent insurance man in San Francisco tells the following : “A man went to sleep in the midst of a curtain lecture. When he woke up in the morning the words were flying as fast as when he went to steep. ‘Say,’ he interrupted the harangue to in- quire, ‘are you talking yet or again?’ ""—Circle, A Contagious Idea Imitation may be a nuisance rather than a form of flattery. A writer in the Outlook tells of an incident in a bank which is as amusing as it is probable. The teller was asked by a J } woman for a new envelope for her bank-book. C It was passed out, and the lady behind, noting | F that her own envelope was a trifle dingy, also ; asked for a fresh one. I The third woman said, “Me, too,’” or words i to that effect, and so it went down the line. When the teller’s patience and his stock of en- velopes threatened to give out, he determined to \ call a halt. A fastidiously dressed lady appeared at the ]J 1 window, holding out a perfectly gloved hand. 1 “T should like one, too, please,”’ said she. q I “One what, madai sked the teller. The lady flushed and began to look comi “Why,!’ she stammered, “what the other la- dies had."'"—Youth’s Companion. No Difference 4 Justice: What is your name, sir? Paisoner: Casey, yer honor. : Justice: Your full na Prisoner: Just the sober.—Judge. » yer honor, full or ‘ Build *hancery Lane, London, land, Agrnts. | Brentano's, 37 Ave, de l'Opera, Paris: t reign countries in the Postal alsn at Saarbach’s News Exchanges, 1, New Coventry Street, Leicester Square, W. London: 9, Rue Back numbers, after three does not hold ttuelf responsthle for the lois or non return of unsolicited contr ioutions, Live is for sale by al Newadealers in Great Britain, The International News Company, Breams Seorges. Paris: 1, Via Firenze, Milan: Mayence, Germany, he text and illustrations in Lave are copyrighted. Extracts from the text may be used, giving > rn due credit; but the illustrations ave mot to be reproduced without special permission ostatned i ; Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address. I BREWSTER @ CO._|: Broadway and 47th St. ' NEW YORK DELAUNAY-BELLEVILLE CHASSIS The New Low-Powered 6-Cylinder Chassis Perfection for Town and Suburban Use PEERLESS CARS (By special arrangement with the Peerless Motor Car Co.) Fitted with Our Exclusive Coach Work BODIES FOR ANY. CHASSIS REPAIRS TO BODY OR MOTOR comicbooks.com