Life, 1909-06-03 · page 53 of 56
Life — June 3, 1909 — page 53: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes the unreliability and temperamental nature of early automobiles through a humorous monologue by a personified car. The narrative spans from 10 o'clock to 11 o'clock, tracking the vehicle's increasingly erratic behavior—beginning smooth and boastful ("I rarely am a perfect car"), then descending into chaos: striking a rooster, leaking picnic cream into the engine, hitting livestock, and ultimately threatening to break down entirely. The satire targets not the automobile itself but owners' inflated expectations. The car's "whims" mirror human vanity and carelessness: the driver's recklessness (hitting animals without concern), mechanical fragility masked by overconfidence, and the gap between marketing promises and reality. For early-1900s readers, this humorously captured widespread frustration with automobiles as unreliable luxury items prone to sudden, inexplicable failure—a sharp contrast to established horse-and-wagon transportation.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HOW TO BECOME AN ARTIST: $1.00 ly Mastrated instruction book written by Johnson, formerly Art Editor Lad al. sent prepaid for $110. ach re Lights ani in, The Whims of the Automobile 10. 0'Clock The day is cool and b faden is the aii Ah, me, I have a jol who voice their j in songs aloud. teautics could there be than thus to sj and free along the road, and then and now ob- serve some farmer's patient cow astride a fence pa Iree, as though good reason there could te for any feat of us who sing nor would do harm to anything 10:15 o’Clock I scem to run so well to-day; my wheels just spin and spin away without a single hitch or jar. Isarely am a perfect car. I start and move and seem to feel the light touch of the steering- wbeel. I glide and skim without a shock o'er nany a rut and bit of rock. Just now a rooster stood and crowed right in the middle of the road, and, with no effort that I knew, I struck and ent him square in two and scattered feathers in the air, and spurs and drumsticks here and there 10:30 o'Clock Beneath my seat T have a hunch there is the fest picnic lunch you ever saw—some way I seem to feel the drip of nice, thick cream upon ny gearing underneath, and, as we skim the glade and heath and glide along by wood and : W ile tine one! ~=6 Bountiful Harvests don't want to be sour or mean, but if this cream « and gasoline go mixing in my inner works, the subbornness that in me lurks is apt to get me | on my ear and make me balk, and balk right also of the nation’s health. The living essence of wav- LESS are not only the foundation of national prosperity, but A099 here, And when I balk I’m hard to start_1 sit ing barley fields, blended and fermented with the tonic : and let them take apart my wheels and cogs and | aa i tol, and fill the ait with words, and sit right | fgg iwices of Saazer Hops, seethes in every bottle of “ 10:45 0'Clock ANHEUSER-BUScy. I'm feeling somewhat better now because I sick a passing cow and toppled o'er a hucks- ters gg and cut a pig's foot off a pig. I like ——— jyuleene : ea SCH RICHELIEU & 5 ONTARIO BY toes is tanes tid fod inva capoundtut come ACPD direct from nature's laboratory. Hence it feeds and builds up the 1 meer CORCENT RATED | buman frame and relights the sacred fires of health in those within \VIGATION Co. whose ailing bodies the spark of life burns dim and low. Order a le case from your Druggist or Grocer—have it delivered today. ger"y For 2 tops of Red Metal cane trom Large Malt: Nutrine Botton with je-Mark or 24 from Split Bottles with Black Trade-Mark and 1Se for postage. we will send one of our Vienna Art Plates to any address in the United States. ANHEUSER-BUSCH, St. Louis, Mo. to make a good, clean hit, although it jars me smart up there and gay with me, or I will skid up a bit, for though it spatters me with dirt I'm my. whecls and wreck myself and. brea only jarred and not much hurt. Cows seem to jolly neck. be my one best bet. I never struck a man as yet, but T have hopes, and when I do I'll make up ; ; : for past failures, too. We must be near the Chauffeur, you may hop down here and crank ame a ave a 7 bi "ve gol jours and picnic grounds, and from the way my axle sounds 204 rave and swear, but I've got hours and WIAGAR A TO THE SEA T guess I'm pretty apt to balk and fet these folks hours to, spare. | Oh, you can dance and, run get out and walk. @ bruh the ‘Vencttan ‘en 11 o'Clock would modestly suggest you get a horse and let Ipands the exe tian Scenery of the ‘Thousand I feel as though I had a touch of fever in my me rest. Tell those dear girls to get Rapids and the historie Associations of Old Quebee slipping cluch: I think my stecring-gear is down, and if you find a ‘phone to town just ring 7 Rivey with ee fe the incomparable loose, for just back there I missed a goose hy "em up and say we're stuck some ten miles out and" Eternity 's majestic Capes, “Trinity” much as half a yard or more, a thing I never did and bless the luck. And you can take me all Send 6e. postage for illustrated guide. i before. I'm wobbling back and forth as though apart, but I'll bet you don't make me start with THOS. HENRY, Trallic Manager Dept “X" Moatreal, Can. I had a spell of vertigo. If some one don't get any stecring-gear so loose I miss such targets out and crank I’ll tumble down this stony bank. as a goose—J. W. Foley in Saturday Look out there, Chauffeur! Don't you be too sot 11:15 o'Clock This scems a pleasant place to stop. Now, Mr. comicbooks.com