Life — May 27, 1909 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Our Correspondence School for Husbands IX E desire to call attention to the spe- cial edition of our magazine, Tur Dowsrkoppes, printed in colors and il- 1 phases of husband life. reforms advocated are lustrated with Some of the as follows The wholesale abolition of all woman's clubs. Limiting all bridge playing by women to eight hours a day Elimination of bargain counters. ppeal to the legislature 10 pass a it impossible for any hus hand to visit a servants’ agency against his will for the purpose of hiring help. A method of self-culture among hus- bonds, so that in the course of time th shall be able to talk intelligently with their wives on the elements of music, art and literature. Drastic measures of relief to tired husbands who come home from the of fice at night and who have hitherto been dragged out either to the opera or to some deadly social function. Restrictive legislation with regard to women’s styles with a view First. To have them wear the same furs at least two sea- sons in succession Second. To have definite limits set to the size of all hats, no hat sold hereafter in this country 10 be over twenty- five dollars in price. Third. Women who insist upon wearing such low-necked gowns in the back that the line reaches the waist, to Shave the space used by the Salvation Army for adver- lising purposes. As, “ Re- pent Ye for the Kingdom of Heaven is at Hand!" Fourth, Every woman limited to two pounds of hair. The establishment of a Husbands’ branch in Paris, where all husbands land- ing there without their wives will be shown every courtesy, and where they are accompanied by their wives, a secret method of having them see everything without breaking up the home. It will thus be seen that our magazine is strict- ly up to date. * 8 All husbands, immediately upon their arrival in town are requested to register at the bureau. We have a reading room, a sideboard and humidor constantly on tap. Come in and enjoy yourself. This is free to our patrons A special—and very quiet—village in the near suburbs has been chartered for the use of the wives of members who may desire to accompany them on visits to the metropolis. All wives will be re- quested to remain quietly in this village. Free worsted will be furnished them for knitting purposes. It is especially requested on the part of our law and order committee that there shall be no open air demonstra- tions on the part of any group of hus- Lands which will exceed decorum, This would only defeat our purpose. That your wrongs are many and deep- seated is no reason why you should be violent, A determined, decorous and dig- nified front will do more for your cause than a reckless display of outraged feel- ing While aiming to be truly modest, we desire to call the attention of all hus- FoR WEAVEN OR—— Cosi, Jor, WHERS DID YOU GRY ALL THE bands to the fact that this great move- ment, now of international importance, would not have been without the help of this bureau. Hvstann’s Corresroxpence BUREAU. Gaces liken women to roses because the thorns remain after the bloom fades. The Way to Do It HARVARD senior has had a dream which invites provision of a mil- lion dollars to start the Harvard Daily Truth, an ideal morning newspaper, to be published in Boston, and to consti- tute a school of journalism for Harvard University. Well: Wise men are putting money now into airships. It is not unthink- able that a million dollars might be found for a “ Harvard Daily Trath.’* It belongs to young men to dream dreams: we must not jibe at them: but what funny dreams they do have! It takes a much scarcer thing than a mil- lion dollars to make a newspaper that is worth making; it takes a remarkable man. How to make an ideal paper we do not know, but a remarkable paper might be made by lifting ten million dol- lars out of Mr. Andrew Carnegie’s trousers’ pocket, hiring some lofts, buy- ing some presses and typesetting ma- chines, and employing a gentleman now resting in Africa to talk “copy”? into them. Call it, not the Harvard Truth, but the Rough Rider, and serve hot si multaneously in Boston, New York, Chi- cago and San Francisco. The expensive thing about starting new papers is to hire people to read them. The Rough Rider would have quite a lot of readers from the very start. Mr. Carnegie is always accessible by telephone, wireless or cable comicbooks.com