Life — May 13, 1909 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Our Correspondence School for Husbands Vul LTHOUGH the gre Conference is now a thing of the past, the excitement of it still lingers, and its effect will be felt for a long time in every village and hamlet throughout the length and breadth of the land. lable space was taken. Even Washington Hotel had a Husbands Every a the Martha man’s day. Delegates ritory wel rich and poor, nationality or from every state and ter- present. Old and youn without regard to previous condition of servitude—all were here. Madison Square Garden was crowded to its utmost capacity. We desire to call attention right here to the fact that all of the prize papers were written by our putrons—men who have been under our direct tutelage. The morning session was devoted to the consideration of Ways and Means. The first paper was received with im- mense applause. The subject, “ How to Act on a Honeymoon,’’ was a favorite with all It goes without saying that, as a mat- ter of expediency, the authors of the papers prefer not to have their names published. Our movement is strong, but not yet strong enough to let our wives know everything. The time is coming, however, when every husband belonging to this bureau will be able to make a speech and then go home and boast of it to his wife. “Be bold,"’ said the first speaker, “be bold on your honeymoon, but not too hold. Arrange if possible to spend. all of your own money during the first week, so your wife will have to draw on the cash that her father has given her for a present. This will have a tendency to place you on a firm financial founda- tion in the future. The next paper was of sentimental in: terest. It was entitled “ The First Quar- rel,"* and was received with a storm of applause. The speaker said there were only three things to do when you got into a quarrel with your wife: First, Give back. Second, Give in. ‘Third, Give up. Since he had become a member of our bureau, however, he admitted that he had expense of one nearly twenty per cent. by our special hypnotic treat- nt (see circular on application), and he believed the time was coming when ry husband could talk back to his € without feeling that every word was adding to the cost of the gift he would have to present her with later. Other papers dealt with the following subjects: How to make your wife’s relatives re- spect Moving furniture—how to avoid it. How to be happy with a chronic bridge player. Wall papers I have suffered with. Methods of taming a fresh-air crank. Eighteen ways of remembering anni- versaries. How to make your first wife save up enough so you will have no difficulty in marrying a young and handsome woman the second time. Marrying a Colonial live it down. The effect of certain biscuits. Your wife's father's cigars. sive measures One hundred w ke! Lies that have helped me. It was not to be expected, of course, reduced th: you, Dame—how to Defen- nd antidotes. s of using a latch that the conference would not have op- position. A mass meeting of wives wa held in Union Square, but the reserves were called out and the rioters dispersed before any damage was done ‘That a wave of reform is now going over the land from the in- ner in which our delegates responded 10 this movement. Our of- fices during the day were crowded with is evident spiring m grateful patrons, many of whom assured us with tears in their eyes that they have Leen rescued from a life of bondage by our treatment In consideration of the great impor- tance of this question, and in the hope “THEY SEEM TO JONAUS OUT OP BALLOONS Now.” BE THROWING THEIR of introducing our methods into every home, we offer a trial course free to all husbands who will send us their names and addresses within thirty days. Remember, we do nothing radical. ‘The change in your home life is so grad- ual that your wife will not notice it. hink of what it will mean to you when you can deceive her systematically, and do it as a‘matter of honor and prin- ciple! The we select at random from our morning's mail: Dear Bureau: . | Heaven bless you! Through your admir- able system, yesterday I succeeded in getting my wife to'put all her property in my name, with full power to act. She says that she has such perfect confidence in me that she knows she can trust me to the limit. All done by you. Please address me after this care Maxim’s, Paris. Bue Cane, Dear Sir: How can I thank you enough for what you have do rly in the fall my wife Knitted me ‘a of worsted pajamas. to in cold weather. Not only have T suc Jed in persuading her that T ought not to wear them, but T have made her give them to my brother-in-law. She believes anything I say. Take a day off and go on a fishing trip with me. Gratefully yours. following letters Remember, the served utmost secrecy is pre- © relapses. We can put hope and courage into the most .abandoned husband's soul. Write while the spirit moves you, Husvanos’ Corresronpence Bureau. comicbooks.com