Life — May 13, 1909 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

4 vain SCISSORS =} Aut NULLUs i! Feminine Sacrifice Rant, bant, bant! Oh, Fashion, at thy decree; And I would that sue could welcome The things that taste good 10 me Oh, well for the Alderman’s wife. That she bravely starves to get slim; And well for the tailor maid Who runs and jumps in the Gym. And the stately hips go off, (‘Tis surely a wondrous feat!) But, oh, for a touch of mayonnaise! ‘And the taste of a thing that is sweet ! Bant, bant, bant! Oh, Fashion, at thy decree; But the tender grace of a rounded form Will never come back to me! —Carolyn Wells, in Harper's Weekly. Where the Miracle Came In Dr. Walter C. Smith, the popular Scotch poct- preacher. on one occasion tried to explain to an old lady the meaning of the scriptural expression, “Take up thy bed and walk,” by saying that the d was simply a mat or rug casily taken up and ied aw 0, no," replied the lady. “I canna be- lieve that. “The bed was a regular four-poster. There would be no miracle in w a bit o” mat or rug on your back." —Argonaut. There’s the Rub It is easy enough to be pleasant When life goes on like a song, But the man worth while is the man whe smile When the telephone and says “ Hello!” “What number?” and he says, rang,” and she says, “No, it didn’) s and he answers it A YouNG ctut. once asked liked books for Christmas gift depends,” drawled the great humorist. “If a book has a leather cover, it is really valuable-as a razor strop. If it is a brief, concise work, such as the French write, it is useful to put under the short leg of a wabbly table. An old- fashioned book with a clasp can’t be beat asa missile to hurl at a dog; and a large book, like a geography, is as good as a piece of tin to nail over a broken: pane of glass.""—Christian Reg- ister. In the Law Tie-Cuxxt: How much will your opinion be worth in this case? Tur Lawyer: I'm too modest to say. But I you what I'm going 10 charge you for der. A Most Important Crop “How do you desire to be uplifted? ”’ is the question a writer in the New York Sun puts into the mouth of the commissioner at the farmer's Farmer Hayrick. start in by growing a better class of er.”"—Youtl’s: Companion ye might in the United States, Great Iiritain, ‘Additional postage to foreign cou 0 ingle current copies, id cents Back numbers, atter three date of pubil 225 cents. No contribution will be returned wiles accompanied by stamped and addressed ex does not hold tteelf respowsibie for the loss or non return of unsolicited contribution: je by all Newdealers to Great Briain, The laternational News Company, Breame fe. Lave, ‘The text and illustrations in Lave are copyrichted. credit; but the illustrations are wot to be reproduced without special permission obtained in advance. The text, may be wsed. giving Liv be sent by subscribers of any chanee of addres WILL AGREE WITH vous! vi f A Oca eR mm ae [Stasusnco 1% K ivabs Bother CC&ELOTHINGS Gentlemens Purnishing be Shirts ready made and to measure; Neckwear and hosiery of exclusive patterns; Imported underwear and pyjamas in weaves and weights especially adapted to Summer use. Send for Illustrated Catalogue, BROADWAY Cor. TWENTY SECOND ST., NEW YORK comicbooks.com