Life — May 6, 1909 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Tx Boy's Essay on “‘ Health” “Health ito Use is a terin that just recently came In the days of Methusleh, such a thing never known, That is the reason that peo- ¢ lived so long. Methusleh never saw a bath- never heard of deep breathing. ate twelve y, and fourteen on Sunday, slept with ¢ windows on summer and winter and ald tell the merits of every brand of whiskey bacco with his gloves on. Who wants to have good health, anyway? The belthy man lives a monotonous existence. No ze ever asks how he is; he gets no sympath ke doctors treat him with contempt; to the dru pst be is a stranger, and from him receives only icool nod; he is an unwelcome guest at after- as he has no physical possessions of © can boast; he sits dumb before his bors, some of whom can trace rheumatism fourteen generations of ancestors, while ave the most up-to-date variety of Head 0 be found in the Social Calendar Ithy man cannot get rid of his hair. n he has a cross wife, the hair re- s with the most amazing rapidity after every ing. Think of the distinction of a little bald ct on the crown of the head! The man who never enjoyed the pleasure of drawing his over such a spot has missed one of the ‘ost enjoyable sensations of which the human irame is capable. The healthy man docs not know how to smoke. The greatest thoughts in the world have been produced by the correct manipulation of the og It must be held between the teeth just so. i must be allowed to go out at just the proper moment. One eye must be half closed, and the tilted to the northeast at an angle of 72 egtees. But no matter how definite the instruc- tists, the healthy man cannot get the proper bite ce the weed, or the tilt of the chin and the spint of the eye in the right order of occur- rece The healthy man cannot brag 9 store away mince pie at 11.55 p. m. without lack and blue taste in his mouth in the sorning. That is his greatest weakness. Three curses at one meal is all he can do. If asked » join a party at a fifteen-course banquet, he rss pale with apprehension and doubt. | He of his capacity in your automobile or motor boat USE HAVOLINE OIL 1909 catalogue and woline Oils are berter than ot “It makes a difference."* MANUFACTURED BY HAVOLINE OIL COMPANY Eecutive Offices: 77 Broad St., New York Retail Store: 1906 Broadway, New York Chiao: Darbem St 8 Olive 5 rs Obes: San Francisco, Cal QUICK DETACHABL REGULAR _CUNCHER FISK TYPE Million Dollar Tire Challenge WE CHALLENGE every automobile owner now using Diamond Tires To buy and use one tire of any other make. Particularly, let the man who never used any but Diamond Tires, check up his experience—get first hand knowledge. WE CHALLENGE every automobile owner not now using Diamond Tires. To buy just one Diamond Tire—to put it on the right rear, the hardest place on his car, then check comparative tire results carefully and impartially. A Million Dollars We publish this advertisement in all seriousne every user of an automobile should make the test. on Care of Tires,” free, on request. MECHANICAL (DUNLOP) Note the types we manufacture. For the aggregate saving in tire cost to Automobile Owners this year, as a result, isa low estimate. W s and the utmost good faith. re very earnest. ‘As an economic proposition Our book “Manual (The DIAMOND RUBBER COMPANY DIAMOND INNER TUBES call by actually has a us being out in car fare nearly rch as his neighbors pay to the doctor to get their livers repaired. To strive for health is a great error. The press, the pulpit and the school should combine against it. Think of the poor undertaker! He a right to a fair show. Think of the poor uggist, with that h y stock on which he has built hopes of clearing 300 per cent! Cruel is the man who would shatter such bright hopes. No, my readers, there are other more worth: fields where you can find room for your best forts. Do not get healthy. You will always be sorry. It is difficult of cure when once acquired. A Pair of Mottoes “My motto."’ said the young physician. ‘Be sure you're right and then go ome another engagement. He am to another city, and so “And mine," rejoined the old ‘When in doubt, perform an Wasp. doctor, operation.” ""— Protecting the Literary Belt that Senator Beveridge, in accordance with the unanimous wish of his con- stituents, has proposed 10 put a heavy tariff on historical novels.—Cleveland Leader. He Was Too Cold for Her “Agnes cause he was too cold a “He de We understand indifferent.’ strike w way.” das long as they saw idn't see any need of pincott’s. cach other every da: their correspondin | ENGLISH TOURS | By AUTOMOBILE PRIVATE CARS. GO WHERE YOU PLEASE. Mustrated booklet free by post, MOTOR TOURING COMPANY, 43 Pembroke Plaae, - Liverpool, England,