Life — May 6, 1909 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE SECRETARY OF STATE ‘Thea up spake Philander C. Kaox, “I'm a sport you can bet your sx, \ Southern Congressman who formerly prac- ticed law in Mississippi tells of an amusing case he once tried in that State. He was then a uncle, a Col. Marti figured in local politics. The main figure in the trial was a lazy darky named Dick Sutton, arrested at the instance of his wife, who alleged that he contributed nothing to her support and refused to work. During the examination of Sutton the young lawyer asked: k, have you any fixed income? "” tton was puzzled by the term. Counsel ex- ined that the expression meant a certainty, money paid not for odd jobs, but for steady em- ployment; in other words, a compensation at d intervals on which one could absolutely rely Upon the conclusion of counsel's remarks, the darky’s face brightened. think I has a fixed income, sah,’ said he. “And what is this fixed income?" was the next question. “Well, sah,” answered Dick, with a broad grin in the direction of Col. Martin, “de Colonel dere allers give me fo’ dollars an’ a sack 0° flour on "lection day ! ""—Tit-Bits, As Far as He Would Go Sue (after the tif): You will admit you were r): No; but I'll admit that an unintentional error might have unknowingly crept into. my assertion —Christian Endeavor World. Dow Tubes WILL TAKE YOU OUT and BRING YOU BACK on well inflated tires, regardless of the punctures you may get on the road. WRITE FOR CATALOGUE—E Dow Tire Company 2000 Broadway 893 Boylston St. NEW YORK BOSTON Dealers Everywhere 90 MILES AN HOUR ON THE JERICHO TURNPIKE The 90 h.p. Locomobile with Robertson driving, winning the International Race for the Vanderbilt Cup. The peculiar elliptical shape of the front wheels in the photograph shows the tremendous speed of the car. Even though the exposure was only one-two-thousands of a second the shutter could not move fast enough from the bottom of the plate to the top to avoid the ellipticity of the front wheels. 12 Post Card views of race sent for 10 cents; Beautiful 11-color poster suitable for framing, 10 cents. Locomobile MODELS FOR 1909 ARE AS FOLLOWS TheNew30*3500-Afivepas- | The Famous’40°- 4500 senger car.The name LocoMoBILE Aseven Passenger family car. guarantees superiority in design Alogical model for those who of shaft drive construction + want high power. » ~ + TheLocomobile Company of America :Bridgep ort.Co NEW YORK— PHILADELPHIA — CHICAGO — BOS TOE Marvelous Improvement He was very little. Learning to skate seemed} to him difficult. On the first occasion that he} trusted himself on the ice he fell down no les: than forty-one times by actual count. Next day he caused roars of laughter when h appeared at home dripping from head to foot an covered with snow, by announcing proudly, a: soon as he was inside the front door: “Fell down only thirty-seven times! ''—Th Wasp. “AND THIS, WILLIAM, 1S THE OLD TOWN PUMP’?