Life — April 29, 1909 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

METAMORPHOSIS, Would Naples Care to Swap ? M® ROOSEVELT’S recent visit to Naples brought that city more into public notice than anything that has happened to it since the last severe eruption of Vesuvius. Mr. Roosevelt would be at least as good an advertisement for Naples as Vesuvius, id less destructive when he erupts. At least we guess he would be less destructive, but everybod; ay not think so, and if the Neapolitans should care to swap Vesuvius for Roosevelt, maybe it could be arranged “Waar oN EARTH DID He MARRY ItER YOR?" Just as soon as a couple have a baby they try to hush it up. “BECAUSE MER MOTIIEK 1S AN INCUBATOR.” Soft Hands and Hard Words Built It EW YORK’S new Queensboro bridge is enormous and imposing. It cost twenty million dollars and looks it. Therein it is in contrast with Mr. Carnegie, who cost 350 mil- lions and doesn’t look like one. Walk over this wonderful bridge and get a new impression of the stupendous tasks the puny hands of men may accomplish. Soft little hands of men built it—soft hands and hard words It is amazing what they can accomplish. FTER an unkind remark about the coffee his landlady asked acridly: “ You've heard of bricks without straw, haven't you?" “Yes,"’ replied the backroom boarder. “It sounds like my mattress.”" STOCKINGS MUST NOT GO HIGHER, WoMEN DECLARE.—Headline in paper. E have reliable information that they can’t go much higher without a revision of human anatomy. Hurried It Up “DIDN'T you propose to her sooner than you expected?” “WHY WON'T YOU PLAY WITH ME ANY MORE?” Yes, but you see, old man, I didn’t want to exhaust “you MAY DE ALL RIGHT, WILLIE, BUT I CAN'T STAND THE all my topics of conversation before we were married.”* GAMES YOU PLAY. comicbooks.com