Life, 1909-04-15 · page 21 of 36
Life — April 15, 1909 — page 21: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This cartoon mocks the clash between old-money values and modern youth culture in the early 20th century. A wealthy father (the "money-maker") expects his college-educated son to enter business, but the son confesses he's entangled with an unsuitable woman. The satire targets several things: the son's flowery, evasive language when describing his girlfriend (using automobile and mechanical metaphors—"wheel-base," "speed"); her expensive tastes and shallow interests (novels, plays, bridge, shopping); and her cost to his finances. The joke escalates when the millionaire assumes marriage is inevitable and reaches for his checkbook—only for the son to shock him by asking for a **divorce**, implying he's already married this woman and regrets it. The cartoon critiques both generations: the father's assumption that money solves everything, and the son's poor judgment in marrying above his means for superficial reasons. The title "The Return" likely refers to the son returning home from college with unexpected complications.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
525 Strained “YYJHAT is it, Wilbur?” asked the millionaire, as his college in- vestment jumped over the brussels of the Wall Street office “You have your degree,’’ continued the millionaire, “and now I trust there + is nothing to prevent you from plunging into the giddy world of business.”’ “You haven't considered the girl,” wailed the ‘varsity output, wildly smooth- ing his perpendicular forclock. The foreward part of the skull of the money-inaker went blank with astonish- ment. The wireless cups fell from his ears and his feet slipped heavily from the signal pedals. The great business was cut off from its head. Ten dollars per second were reverting to the common people “Accelerate. This interview is expen- sive, and what are the damages?’ gasped the wilted money-maker. “ Let me hear the worst.”* “While at the knowledge factory,"’ be- gan the downcast campus specimen, “I THE RETURN was prone to gamble about the green, and practice on the social ladder. “The dry goods in question is mani curish to the eyesight, but has tastes un- dermining the ideals of the Newport Set. “The physiognomy that she manages to concoct is not altogether unattractive, but, I've found to my sorrow, is expen- sive to maintain, while the bailing rope which is purchased by the yard, and ratted and puffed up, has absorbed all my panetella money for months. “The specifications are about as fol- lows : “Her wheel-base is far above stand- ard, modified to meet present sheath re quirements. “In the language of her Boston bull, ‘she's a yip. yip.” “As to speed “How does she stack up in the intel- lectual pile?’ interrupted the millionaire, wearily passing a hand over the nude section of his think tank. “Father, she’s a good judge of apart- ments, dogs and racing-runabouts. She oS reads every joyous novel of the year Goes 10 every well-gowned, noisy play that mobs under the proscenium. “As to bridge! It’s the bridge of sighs to the lily-white brows that con- vene against her. “ Speaking of the monetary end of the game, it’s a ‘bijou dream’ for her. She can detach more credit from the iron- hearted merchants than the average *dollar-down’ book-publishers ever be- came passed up on.” “Don’t tell me all thi millionaire, reaching for his inlaid check- book. “Come to the pinnacle. Do you want to splash among the orange-blos- soms?"* asped the father,’ retorted the class-room residue, “I haven't the right to pass a florist’s that has orange-blossoms, on the way “Then what do you want?‘? impa- tiently began the now aged millionaire. “T want a divorce!" choked the *var- sity output, passing out in a chair. Howard B. Horner.