Life — March 25, 1909 — page 33: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

oil ples PHILIP MORRIS “ ORIGINAL LONDON CIGARETTES —a real refinement in the way of a smoke CAMBRIDGE the regular i AMBASSADOR after-dinner size ws, professor of dramatic liter- University, recently told the to one of his English classes by wh I know very well was raughty on In fact, she was so bad that, ater corrections failing, her mother took her p her. While the proceedings the bedroom door opened and girl's brother started to come in. The owever, heard the noise as the knob her position slightly as she lay xcross her mother’s knee, she said, ‘Eddie, go eat! Can't you see we're bus: Judge. A Toast ‘ognizing the value of a higher it for herself and her de- am thought only of tickling M. A. Watson. idly, specifically, how to write every type of & wishing busipessletir. How to use words (hat # minds change thels oplaions, open thett s~aad being back actual orders by tal—bow craps cart wagsetc Laglah Gat ast : ‘clearveut magacte 2 acd laspwes respect. we ‘Takes the actual, everyday correspooe jence you teceive and shows you speck tealy Now's answer tee ‘he actual etterg Creulars, an lollowe Upa, Cat have sold. goods, collected stcousis, increased trae and presige: No long winded “grammar talks"— but 172 pages of Sats and Wdeas you cao wse tn dicatog soncrrow morning's correspondence Ih alips of apeech ave. abital with you. It your levers are. dry, formal Tndpoorty werdeds HE they ack the Sap One ue ol words that ee eet Sespy of tha bow a once ead hen Your erp oa the English : The tock'ts well priced on book Ind vfoces,subaamialy Bound in velim wih et 19 get a copy of this book year complete re Will send you a copy of “How to Write 2h taasporotloa charges tuly peepald 18, 151-153 Wabash Avenue, Chicaro. SPARKS ay Fron OLD ANVILS Hell “ Of hell, madame, you have no idea. Among all the devils you possibly know only the smallest, the Beelzebubian Armor, the agreeable croupier of hell, and him you know only through Don Juan, And for this woman deceiver, who sets such a bad example, you think it is hardly hot enough. Nevertheless, it is hellishly hot in hell, and once, when I visited it during the Dog Days, it was unendurable. You really have no idea of hell, madame. We receive little official informa- tion from thence. That the miserable souls of the damned down there must spend the entire day in reading all the poor sermons that are printed on carth is a base aspersion. So bad it is not in hell: such refined agonies Satan will never devise. Moreover, Dante’s description is alittle too mild; on the whole, too poetical.”” “Hell, to me, appeared like a large farmer's kitchen with an interminably long oven, upon which stood thrce rows of iron pots in which the damned were roasting. In the first row Christian sinners, and, hard to believe, their number was not small, and the devils stirred the fire with unusual zeal. In the second row werc the Jews, who shricked constantly. The devils teased them occasionally; one of them, a fat, JOHNJAMESON WHISKEY For Sale Everywhere. W. A. TAYLOR & CO. Sole Agents, New York. NO MORE COFFEE FoR ME! nerves! "’ 417 TOO HARD ON LOLS IS SEIS EEE EDIE MEP ED EP EPEDEDEMEP EP EMEP EMEDMEMEMEM Liqueur Peres Chartreux GREEN AND YELLOW ‘The original and genuine Chartreuse has always Seon an ntl fs made by tho Carthusian Monks Peres Chartreux), who, since their expulsion rom France, have been’ located at Ti na, Spain ; and, although the old labels and insignis ofiginated by the Monks havo been adjudged b; theFederal Courts of this country to be still the exclusive property of the Monks, their world renowned prredess is nowadays known as Liqueur Péres Chartreux.” At first-class Wine Merchants, Grocers, Hotels, Cafés. Daver & Co., 45 Broadway, New York, N.Y. ‘Sole Agents for United States. QAGREASAEAGOAEN AEA OAEADOAS MG ABABDABOABABAOAGCABOA.OPMEAGOAGAEAR GR GAARA GAGA OAEM stertorously breathing usurer, complained of the terrible heat, and upon his head a little devil drolly poured several buckets of cold water, to prove to him that baptism was really 9 refresh ing kindness. In the last row sat the heathen who, with the Jews, cannot share in salvation, and therefore must burn forever. I heard one of them call out, as a cloven-footed devil banked fresh coal on the fire, * the wisest of mortals. cousness and offered my for the young.’ But the base creature would not let himself be hindered in his task and growled, ‘but all the heathen must burn, and we can make no ex- ception for any man.’ ”” “T assure you, madame, it was fearfully hot, and there was an awful shrieking, ing, screaming. screeching and grumbling, and through all these horrible sounds there was clearly heard the fatal melody of the song of ‘the unwept tear.’ '—From the Germon “ Das Buch le Grand,” by Heinrich Heine, It is taken from the first chapter. 1 was Socrates, and right Extract Concerning a Cow, But Not Canned And, at last, his excellent masculine common sense, and his facility in devising expedients to overcome domestic dilemmas, had gained him an extraordinary place as authority among the Cran- ford ladies. He himself went on in his course, as unaware of his popularity as he had been of the reverse; and I am sure he was startled one day when he found his advice so highly esteemed (Continued on page 418) comicbooks.com