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Life, 1909-03-25 · page 30 of 36

Life — March 25, 1909 — page 30: what you’re looking at

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Life — March 25, 1909 — page 30: Life, 1909-03-25

What you’re looking at

This page is **primarily advertising and filler content** rather than political satire. It comprises: **Actual Content:** - Brief humor snippets (wordplay and anecdotes) in the vein of early 1900s comic magazines - "The Skeleton in the Closet" cartoon (right side) showing an interior scene—likely a domestic humor piece about hidden embarrassments - Book reviews section listing contemporary publications **Notable Elements:** The one potentially satirical piece is "Worked Hard, Too"—a lawyer-witness joke mocking persistent legal questioning and railroad labor conditions. The witness's admission of "seven years" trying unsuccessfully to open train windows is absurdist humor suggesting either railroad negligence or worker futility. **Advertisements:** The page is dominated by product ads (Allen-Higgins wallpaper, Milo Egyptian Cigarettes, Allen's Foot-Ease powder, American Hosiery, Houston Hat Company). The magazine's satirical edge—if present—is minimal here. This appears a typical humor/lifestyle magazine page of its era, mixing light domestic comedy with commercial content.

📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“LIFE: Ask Your Dealer for our latest papers. We are bringing out new and strikingly orig- inal effects inselt to: tapesiries of unusual value—beautiful florals with Cretonnes to match—odd things in orientals—classy little chamber florals—new, soft shades of chambrays with decorations to match—spe- cial friezes. We are making a special feature of Arts and Crafts designs and the popular Monks Cloth backgrounds, Our papers are ¢ru/y and purely made. Send for illustrated booklet, ALLEN- HIGGINS WALL PAPER CO. Worcester, Mass. The wind caug e Winttams clusive W. W gave a slight scream—with reason, ed a monster brown rat Lippincott’s. His Company Young Astorbilt isn’t at all is he? Why, I don’t know Oh, he isn't ALTERS ILLIAMS : "twould Why, this morning I saw him riding in his automobile with a police- man.—Somerville Journal Merely Local Young Thomas, afflicted with a green apple pain in his midst, thus explained his condition to his mother: “ Mother, I've got an awful bad pain right in the middle of my stomach, but the rest of me feels fine! "—Lippincott’s. The Measure of a Woman's Wit " There are three ways by which a woman's brain Can well be measured. One is by the fit Of boot or shoe. A size that give her pain Proves her deficient in the thing called wit. A waist so girded that its span appears A wasplike stricture, shows her stupid quite; But when her head must put on sundry tiers To wear her hat—all sense has taken flight S. Waterhouse. Worked Hard, Too A persistent lawyer who had been trying to establish a witness’ suspicious connection with an offending railroad was at last clated by the witness’ admission that he “had worked on the railroad. “Ah! ’" said the attorney with a satisfied “You said you have worked on the P. T. & ) “For how long a period “Off and on for seven years, or since I have lived at Peacedale, on their line.’” “Ah! You say you were in the employ of the . T. & X. for seven years, off and on?” Xo. I did not say that I was employed by T I said that I had worked on the ad, off and on, for that length of time.”’ “Do you wish to convey the impression that you have worked for the P. T. & X. for seven years without reward?" asked the attorney “Absolutely without reward,” the witness answered calmly. “For seven years, off and on, I've tried to open the windows in the P. T. & X cars, and never once have I succeeded.’"— Youth's Companion mile -ALLEN’S FOOT-EASE. nervous feet, and instant out of corns and bunions. takes the stin It's the great- rry of the age. owing nails, swe d, aching feet stimonials. TRY by all Druggists ai ot accept any mail for 25c, in stamps a pinch FREE 73: PACKAGE | sent by mail. Address ALLEN IT TO-D) Shoe. Stores, 28. “ID abstitute, Sent by OLMSTED, Le Roy, N. ¥. Why She Was Glad When the minister, who was a bachelor, had been helped to Mrs. Porter's biscuits for the third time, he looked across the table at Rhoda, staring at him with round, wondering eyes. “I don’t often have such a good supper as this, my dear,.’”’ he said in his most propitiatory tone, and knoda dimpled. “We don't alw: he said in her clear little voice. “I'm awful glad you came.''—Univer salist Leader. Latest Books Loaded Dice, by Ellery H. Clark. Co., Indianapolis, Ind.) Short Poems, by George Godoy. (Geo. Godoy, 1006 16th St, N. W., Washington, D. C.) Simeon Tetlow’s Shadow, by Jennette Lec. Century Co. $1.50.) The Gorgeous Borgia, by Justin Huntly McCarthy. (arper & Bros. $1.50.) The Truth About Jesus, by M. M (Independent Religious Society, Orchestral Chicago.) Nirvana Days, by Cale Young Rice. Co.) Puck of Pook’s Hill, by Rudyard Kipling. day, Page & Co.) Parsimony in Nutrition, by Sir James Crichton Browne. (Funk & Wagnalls Co. $0.75.) 414 (Bobbs, Merrill (The Mangasarin, Hall, (The McClure (Double- Directions for Washing AMERICAN Hosiery Underwear Pure Silk S silk fabrics are easily ruined by improper treatment, these instruc. tions are important. he washing ang rinsing should be done in warm vate not over 110 degrees. Use no Strong laundry soap, soda, chemicals, powder or washing compounds. soap is best for silk. Wash carefully, rubbing little as possible, and never on a washboard, Shape the garments wh drying, and iron carefully when very slighily damp, Pure olive oi Be sure this label is on the garment DN TME WOR” AMERICAN HOSIERY UNDERWEAR For men, = AMERICAN HOSIERY COM and 10 Franklia Sweet, N’ the ordi intended ten feet double-« Express Prepaid Fit for a King; Light, cool, dressy, closely woren, 098 able to ali shapes, blocked and trimmed al! sizes, # silk band and leather sweat band, $10.00 value, seat Pty for $4.00, Save two profits. We import Caf Galveston from South America, Order to+ly. Satisfaction guaranteed—Address HOUSTON HAT COMPANY “Panama Hat Kings" HOUSTON, TEXAS want the carry the ety se Breat pa Mast spe New New comicbooks.com