Life — March 25, 1909 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“UNDERSTAND ME, HENRY PECK. 1 SHALL NOT LAY ANOTHER EGG UNLESS YOU GET AN INCUDATOR, 1 SIMPLY cannot NEGLECT MY SOCIAL DUTIES AS I'VE BEEN DOIN ITH cap awry and bells jangling, he burst into the K Have you heard my last joke, Your Majesty?” he cried “Thay axe descended on jester. S presence, was the reply, as the royal the neck of the court modern in- risen in re- Woman's Club tution, which sponse to a popular demand to have a place where the latest styles of millinery can be displayed at the greatest advantage Women's clubs vary in size, from the Village Improvement Society, to the ten- story municipal building, where cigarettes and cocktails can be obtained all hours of the day and night. Every woman’s club has a civics depart- ment, a language department, a lecture department and a literature department Most woman's clubs also have nature de- partments, where Nature is brought in and put on the operating table and her secrets laid bare. The idea of the woman's club is to pro- vide a home for married women who are living with their busbands during the winter months. The civics department relates to gov- ernment, and all its latest styles. New styles in government, as they come in, are talked about without the slightest re- morse. Governments that have never has gad ia a lag Free Will HE freedom of the will is that part of forcordination, sometimes more tersely and familiarly termed the uni- versality of cause and effect, which al- lows us to think we are doing something because we would rather do that than something else. The freedom of the will should always be taken for granted, be- cause, if you attempt to talk about it or prove it, you are sure to start an argu- ment and end by not being sure whether you have free will or not. Pragmatically speaking, the will is free only as to some thing. It is not yet free as to the North Pole, but it has recently become free as to telegraphy. which helps making it free as to the copper wire trust. wireless considerably in Phylogenetic “At of his drive “And what has he turned out to be?"? “A subway guard.’ ancestors were slave- done anything but what is expected of them are picked to pieces and made to feel their own inconsequence. Their characters are ruthlessly torn apart, un- til there is nothing much left of them. The language department relates, as the name implies, to languages, the principle being that it is better to talk in as many as possible, without being particularly able to think in one. The real object of the language department is, however, to provide our needy professors with a means of livelihood. The literature department takes the place of the handy book of quotations, a valuable feature in so many homes, and enables all members to talk about the latest books as if they had read them. It also supplies a chronological list of the great names in literature, so that they can be spoken of familiarly when met. What is really needed, however, is a clothless. woman's club, All husbands could then feel that an afternoon session did not necessarily mean a complete new outfit. “THEM DIRECTWAHRS IS DEAD SWELL— AIN’T THEY? comicbooks.com