Life — March 11, 1909 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AAS, A Toast Fashion! Lovely Dame! Pledge in sparkling wine! Let us add her name To the Muses’ nine! Though the lovely Nine All should pass away Why should woman pine, If but Fashion stay? Tho’ the Muses’ lore Molder on the shelf, Still may she adore In Fashion’s glass—Herself. —Oliver Herford in Collier’s Weekly. “The Emperor's Orderly” Frenchmen of every rank and class dearly love titles. The manager of a Paris insurance com- pany was decorated with the Legion of Honor a few days ago, and the clerks in the employ of the company presented him with a piece of plate to which their visiting cards were attached. On looking over these he was a good deal puzzled and amused by the visiting card of the office “boy,” an old soldier from the Invalides, who was employed to open the office doors from 9 to 4. Under the man’s name was the “the emperor's orderly.”” He sent for the soldier, who stumped in and saluted. “Of what emperor are you the orderly, anf” how??? he asked. The old Invalide drew him self up to attention. “Tam the orderly of the emperor,” he said “Napoleon, la petit corporal.”’ “But he is dead. He has been dead some time,’” answered the puzzled manager. “T dust his tomb for him,” growled the od soldier —London Express. Never Again Besste: Are you fascinated by your fiancé? Pessiz: Fascinated! You ought to see the y he kisses me under my chin. Yes, it is cute; I taught him that— Smart 5 “ Rupyap Kirtixe, when he dined with me” said a literary Chicagoan, “told me aboot Simla. It seems that Simla is up in the mous. tains—the hills, as they say in India—and the ladies go there in the hot weather to escape the heat of the low country. Well, Kipling said that one lovely, cool morning at Simla he was pre- sented to a ‘grass-widow.’ They call those le dies ‘grass-widows’ whose husbands are de- tained by work in the hot cities of the plains. She was awfully pretty and charming, and a they talked together in the pleasant coolness, Kipling said: ‘1 suppose you can’t help thinkiag of your poor husband grilling down below?” The lady gave him a strange look, and he learned afterwards that she was a real widow A MERRY WIDOW HAT man. Live is published every Thursday, timultancously in the United States Biitsh Possessions. $5.02 year in'advance. Additional postge to forcign countries Union. $1.04 a to Canada, $2 cents. Single current copies, 10 cents. Hack numbers, after three Months from date of publication, 25 cents, No contribution will be returned undess accompanied by stamped and addreied envelope. Live hold ityelf responsibte for the less or non return of unsolicited contributions. Se°Ceormes, Parts: The text Sia Paceeattns in Live are copyrighted, and are net to be reproduced with gai permission obtained in advance. Prompt notification should be sent by enbecribers of any chance address Buildin Chancery Lane, London, F also at Siarbach's Ni ews Exchanges. Via Firenze, ) i forsale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain, The International News Company, Breams THE VALUE OF AN AUTOMOBILE TOP depends on the covering material used. You can't get a material superior to GENUINE you can, and surely will, get something in- ferior (and some sad ex- perience) if you take the material with a deceptive appearance when new; offer- ed by dealers to increase their profits at your expense. ‘Send postal for samples and booklet on tops. THE PANTASOTE CO., 11 Broadway, New York. ‘Supusnco COIL) CoestorHines> Gentlemens Purnishing bal Correct Liveries for House, Stable, or Garage at Reasonable Prices. Send for Illustrated Catalogue. BROADWAY Cor. TWENTY SECOND ST., NEW YOR comicbooks.com