Life — February 25, 1909 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Saw Him First About the year 1707 William Penn became heavily involved in a lawsuit, and the author of a recent biography, entitled “ Quaker and Cour- tier,’ says that he was greatly in fear—under the lans of the day—of being arrested. Many noble personages were in the same plight, but no other, it is believed, resorted to Penn's expedient the situati the door of his London house he had a hole made, through which he could see rson who came to him. A creditor one lay sent in his name, and having been made to more than a reasonable time, knocked for ervant, and asked him: Il not your raster see me?” end, he has seen thee,”’ replied the serv- ant, calmly, “and does not like the looks of thee.""—Youth’s Companion. Mx. Tart’s striking personal appearance will save any visitor such an experience as fell to the lot of Gen. Jason L. Brown, of Missouri, wh once went to the White House to give the ne «d executive some poimers about his cabinet © was waiting in the ante-room he ac- an who had just come into the room ancing over a paper. “I suppose that c here on the same errand that [am,”” don't’ know,’ replied the . “what errand are you on?" old chump in there how No, I can’t say that I am Maybe you ain't a politi- ; * returned the stranger, politely, the old chump. General Brown was not in the new cabinet.—Aryonaut. Expert Testimony “Have you ever scen the prisoner at the bar?”* “Yes, Judge, and he can drink like a fish.”’— Herper's Weekly. Mepicat. Stupext: What did you operate on that man for? Ewixent Surceox: Two hundred dollars. Mepicat. Stupent: I mean, what did he have? ext Svrceox: Two hundred dollars.— stian Registe Directions for Washing AMERICAN HOSIERY Underwear UNSHRINKABLE, Ribbed 'O retain the elasticity and shape of ribbed garments, soak for half an hour in warm water, and then wash by squeezing suds through the garments by hand, avoiding all rubbing. Use no caustic soap, washing pow- ders, or chemicals. Rinse thoroughly in warm water, and tun through the wringer lengthwise. _ Stretch to proper length before dry- ing, and iron when slightly damp. Nine Highest Awards, Be sure [oso ariren this labet IN TRE WORD HosIERY Is on the AMERICAN garment UNoeRWEAR THADE MARK For men, women and children, AMERICAN HOSIERY COMPANY 108 and 119 Franklin Street, Like Legal Tender A package of Uneeda Biscuit is always a fair exchange for its cost, because Uneeda Biscuit are the best of all soda crackers. They are not expensive; on the contrary, Uneeda Biscuit is one of the least expensive of foods. There is no waste. There is most nourishment. Always fresh and crisp. Never stale. No broken crackers. Always whole and inviting. There can be no better soda crackers than Uneeda Biscuit | The Pessimist A hard-looking citizen, who showed every in- dication of having made a night of it and then some, walked along Beacon street, in Boston, and sat down wearily upon one of the marble steps of a handsome residence. The owner of the house, at a lower window, watched him for some time as he sat with bis bewhiskered chin sunk upon his breast, in an attitude of dejection, an expression of utter dis- gust upon his face. At last he opened his mouth and said in a husky and cantankerous voice: “To hell mit the Church! To hell mit the Pope! To hell mit everybody—'cept Rosie! "” There was another long silence. Then sud- denly he arose and said defiantly as he walked away: “To hell mit Rosie! ’—Lippincott’s. Letting the Cat Out “Say, grandpa, make a noise like a frog, coaxed little Tommy. THE BLACKBIRDS “What for, my son?" “IMIS BEAUTY TREATMENT CERTAINLY WORKS “Why, papa says, that when you croak we'll wonpers 1” get five thousand dollars.""—Success. comicbooks.com