Life — February 11, 1909 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Punch, without kno} PRINCESS HOTEL NOW OPEN HOWE & TWOROGER, Mgrs, Hamilton, Bermuda, Remarks from the Pup She's (aught me that I mustn't bark At lite noises after dark, But just refrain from any fuss Until }'m sure they’re dangerous. This ould be easier, I’ve felt, If noises could be seen or smelt. She's ery wise, I have no doubt, And j/uns ahead what she’s about; Yet siicr eating, every day, She tsows her nicest bones away. If she were really less obtuse She'd Sury them for future use. Bat that which makes me doubt the most Those higher powers that humans boast, o. so much a fault like that, Nor sci her fondness for the cat, But o. our pleasant country strolls Her «lull indifference to holes! Oh, if | once had time to spend To reach a hole’s extremest end, Vd t fast without a doubt, And promptly pull it inside out; Then virag it home with all my power To chew on it in a leisure hour. Of ail the mistresses there are, Mine is the loveliest by far— Fain would I wag myself apart If [ could thus reveal my heart, But on some things I must conclude Mine is the saner attitude. —Harper’s Magazine. Happy “That young couple seem to be enjoying them- selves immensely. Are they married?" “Yes, but not to each other."'—Fliegende Bloetter Directions for Washing AMERICAN HOSIERY Underwear Balbriggan or Lisle * should always be taken in ashing these cotton garments that y may retain their smooth and nice appearance. Use no caustic soap, soda, washing powder or chemicals, especially for colored goods. »k for one-half hour in warm water, was! carefully, rubbing as little as Possi'le, and never on a washboard. Stretch the garments into shape be- fore drying, and iron when slightly damp. Nine Highest Awards, Wie 4 HOSIERY UNDERWEAR fos apes tae AMERICAN HOSIERY COMPANY 108 and 110 Franklin Street, New York Be su ts label is on the garment. Victor V $60 Other styles $10 to $300 “Why, that is the real thing the —you can’t tell it from actual human voice!” That's what people say every day, upon hearing the lctor. And when their amazement is over they further exclaim, “I never knew the Victor was like that!” Do you know what the Victor is like? You owe it to yourself to hear it. Any Victor dealer will gladly play any Victor music you want to hear. Victor Talking Machine Co., Camden, N. J., U.S.A. Berliner Gramophone Co., Montreal, Canadian Distributors To get best results, use only Victor Needles on Victor Records Victor ry will be found in th McClure’s, Century, Everybody's, and March C What He Wanted Smart Boy (applying for situation); What kind of a boy does yer want? Mercuant: A nice quiet boy that doesn’t use bad words, smoke cigarettes, whistle around the office, play tricks, or get into mischief— Smatt Boy: Yer don’t want no boy; yer want a goil. See?—St, Louis Times. A Labor Saver “ See here,’’ said the irate reomer to the cham- bermaid, “don’t you ever sweep under the bed? "’ I always do,’’ answered the girl innocently, “It's so much handier than using a dustpan."’— Chicago Daily News. 20 TRANSATLANTIC TALES comicbooks.com