Life, 1909-02-04 · page 37 of 40
Life — February 4, 1909 — page 37: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page combines **literary humor pieces with period advertising** (circa early 1900s). ## Literary Content (Left Side) Three humorous short pieces in the style of 19th-century satirical writing: 1. **"Always Naevia"**: A classical-style poem mocking obsessive love—a man can speak only of his beloved "Naevia," echoing Martial's epigrams. 2. **"Elective Affinities"**: A comedic dialogue where a woman declares herself a man's "Affinity" (likely referencing Goethe's novel about fatalistic attraction). The man's refusal and escape is played for humor. 3. **"A Future Arrangement"**: A Scottish dialect joke about a dying husband solving his widow's remarriage dilemma by suggesting she marry an atheist, reasoning their heavenly union wouldn't count. ## Advertising (Right Side) **Globe-Wernicke furniture company** ads promoting office filing cabinets and home library bookcases—practical Victorian/Edwardian home furnishings. The page reflects Life's satirical tradition: mocking romantic idealism and human foibles through classical literary references and vernacular humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Och Ye ests z SPARKS K Qe aK from Old Anvils Always Naevia ET Rufus weep, rejoice, stand, sit or walk, Sull he can nothing but of Nievia talk; Let him eat, drink, ask questions, or dispute, Still he must speak of Nzevia, or be mute. He writ to his father, ending with this line, “Tam, my lovely Navia, ever thine.” Martial Epig., 69, 1. [. Elective Affinities The exsenric female clutched me frantically by the arm and hollerd: “ You air mine, O you air mine!” “Scarcely,"” I sed, endeverin to git loose from But she clung to me and sed: You air my Affinerty!"” What upon arth is that?’’ I shouted. “Dost thou not know?” “No, I dostent!”” man, & I'll tell ye!” sed the strange “for years I hav yearned for thee. I snowed thou wast in the world, sumwhares, tho Ididn't know whare. My hart sed he would cum and I took courage. He has cum—he’s here— you air him—you air my Affinerty. , ‘tis too mutch!” and she sobbed agin. “Yes,” I ansered, “I think it is a darn site too mutch 1" “Hast thou not yearned for me?" she yelled, ringin’ her hands like a female play-actor. Not a yearn!"’ I bellered at the top of my xoice, throwin’ her away from me—ARrTEMus Waxp, His Book: Among the Free-Lovers. A Future Arrangement “I canna’ leave ye thus, Nancy,’ a good old Scotchman wailed. " Ye're too auld to work, an’ ye couldna live in the almshouse. Gin I die, ye saun marry anither man, wha’ll keep ye in comfort in yer auld age.” “Nay, nay, Andy,” answered the good spouse. “Tcould na’ wed anither man, for what wad I do wi’ twa husbands in heaven? "* Andy pondered long over this, but suddenly his face brightened. “Lhae it, Nancy,” he cried. “Ye ken auld John Clemmens? He's a kind man, but he is na’ a member of the kirk. He likes ye, Nancy, an’ gin yell marry him, ‘twill be all the same in beaven—John’s na’ Christian.”"—Success Maga- sine Water for Your Country Home ‘You may have every bs convenience of a city, water supply 1 your 4 goantryhomeand farm buildings ~plenty of wa- ter delivered System of Water Supply No elevated tank to leak, freeze oF collapee. No attic i (00 for ersall evt8t, and up, accordiag to the re ents. for _¢4-paxe 0. 13. Ati free. Globe -Wernicke “ELASTIC” For the Office. It you wish « copy of The Latest Reference Work on Modern Office Equipment Wood and Steel Write for Our New Catalogue 809-G. The largest and most comprehensive publication of the kind ever issued by any company. (GlobeSWernicke Stee! Sectional Filing Cabinets ere made to match oak and mahogany wood fu niture. You can only detect the difference through the sense of touch.) For the Home. If interested in Modern Home Libraries And ways of properly arranging books that come in pocket size editions, as well as those that are inconveniently heavy and cum- bersome write Department G. For information on graded sizes of our book-case sections. Also catalogue containing twenty-five model library interiors. (Globe“Wirnicke “El tained in 12 different ‘of oak aad mahogany Whero not represented, we ship on approval, freight paid. Pricos uniform everywhere. The Glube=“Wernicke Co, CINCINNATI. BRANCH STORES: New York, 380-382 Broadway. Chicago, 224-228 Wabash Ave. Boston, 91-93 Federal St. WOMAN'S NUMBER OF LIFE An Invitation to All Women Writers ARLY in the Spring Lire will issue a Woman's Number, the text of which will be written exclusively hy women, s extends herewlth a general invitation to the women writers of this country to con- tribute to this number. Contributions will be pald for at Lire’s regular rates. The editors rescrve the usual privilege of rejecting all ‘contributions not sulted to Live's purposes. his is not a contest. fs not, ne Among the subjects 8 Rabies, Children, Spt It is an opportunity throw arity confined to well-known writers writer's views do not happen to coincide with thoxe of this paper. ested are Woman Suffrage, the Care o Home Decoration, Gardening, M: ‘open to women to express themselves. It o manuscript will be rejected because the Husbands, Matrimony, Divorce, ic, Drama, Travel, Woman's Clubs, Shall Women Soeak in Public? Local Government, Woman's Dress, Education, Servants and thelr management, all domestic topics, ete. Oftentimes the cleverest and most original thought of the week may be expressed In one line. All contributions should be sent in before March 1, 1909, addressed to the Editor of L1 17 West Thirty-first Street, New York. comicbooks.com