Life, 1909-02-04 · page 32 of 40
Life — February 4, 1909 — page 32: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains primarily **humorous anecdotes and advertisements** rather than political satire. The main humor pieces include: **"Their Latest Game"**: A children's joke about a girl pretending her quiet brother is her father coming home late—playing house while mother mistakes the silence for obedience. **"A Head-On Collision"**: A lighthearted poem about two women with large, elaborate hats (featuring fowls and forests—common Edwardian hat decorations) colliding at a doorway, satirizing the absurdly oversized women's hats fashionable in this era. **"Expected Pacification"**: An anecdote about a French aviator's wife commenting on American "naiveté," illustrated by a precocious Brooklyn boy manipulating his mother into buying him gifts by asking what she bought "to pacify" him after his birthday. The advertisements include **Oriental Rugs** (366 Fifth Avenue) and **Northern Pacific Railway** travel promotions for Alaska-Yukon-Pacific Exposition and Yellowstone Park. This is a representative page of *Life*'s mix of genteel domestic humor and commercial content, circa 1909.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Their Latest Game A busy mother who was distracted by the noise in the nursery hastened to the room and said to her little daughter : “Minnie, what do you mean by shouting and screaming? Play quietly, like Tommy. See, he doesn’t make a sound.”’ “Of course he doesn't, said the little girl. “That is our g3 He is papa coming home ate, and I am you. -Ladies’ Home Journal. It was a former Archbishop of York—Dr Thomson—who appeared once in the role of coachman. He had attended an evening party, and, on leaving the house, discovered that his coachman was drunk. There appeared nothing for it but to drive home himself, and the arch- bishop, after placing the smiling but unconscious coachman inside the carriage, mounted the box and took the reins. The monotony of the home- ward journey was broken by a wheel of the car- riage coming into violent collision with a stone just outside the entrance to Bishopsthorpe. The lodge-keeper, unable to recognize the approach- ing figure in the darkness, called out, cheerily : Hallo, Bill, drunk again !—and blowed if you ain't got the old cock’s hat on!"” “It’s the old cock himself,” gravely responded his grace— “DON’T YOU THINK WE'D BETTER SkIDO0? THEY SAY MIS PART OP THE MAP WON'T BE SAFE FOK BIG GAME THIS YEAR."” Crepitor I sent you my bill a month ago. Epitor: Yes, but you wrote across the back of it, “ Please call and settle.” We make it a rule to pay no attention to manuscripts written on both sides. —Cleveland Plaindealer. It is related that when Stevenson was told of the death of Matthew Arnold he paused, then said, dubiously, “He won't like God! ''—Argo- A Head-On Collision If a bonnet meet a bonnet Coming through the door Each with fowls and forests on it, Three yards ‘round and more— If each hat, not measured double, razes either side, What mere man can gage the trouble When these two collide? —Katharine Perry in Woman's Home Compo: ion. Expected Pacification Mrs. Henry Farman, the wife of the noted aeronaut, said in an interview in New York “What I particularly like about you Ameri- cans is your naiveté. This naiveté often makes selfish traits seem quite charming. For in- stance: “LT lunched the other day with a Brooklyn woman. After luncheon, as we took our coffee in the drawing room, my hostess’s son, a little lad in white, came in. “Tle talked to me politely for a while, then he crossed the room to his mother. “*Ma,’ he said in his little hard, nasal voice, ‘did you buy Harold a birthday present when you were out this morning?’ Yes, dear,’ said his mother. And, ma,’ he went on, ‘what did you buy to pacify me ‘cause it ain't my birthday?’ "” rgonaut. aaregentrsbatin willbe ret foes not hold itself resporsi Live is for sale by all Ne yl Yk AE I 23 Oriental Rugs Opening of New and Ampler Quarters—Retail and Wholesale. A CORDIAL invitation is extended to those interested in \ the ‘collection of the finest and rarest specimens of Oriental Rugs, to visit us at our new address, 366 Fifth Avenue, cor. 35th Street. Long established connections with the Orient enable us to offer here a complete selection of all the weaves, including examples of the best Kirman, Meshed, Sarouk and Gourevans, with afew remarkably choice Djsosghan rugs. We make a specialty of extremely large sizes. No more valuable or extensive exhibit has ever been made by asingle importer, Intending purchasers will have the bea- elit of the advice of experts, Retail Department, 2d floor-—Wholesale, 3d floor. Take elevaidt. Joseph Wild & Company Established 1852. New York Washington Star. Yukon-Pacific Exposition, Seattle, June 1 to Oct. 16, 1909 Third Annual Rose Festival, Portland, June 7 to 12,1909 Yellowstone Park Sess,27¢ 3 !°05. 1509 May be visited 02 ove transcontinental tour and Yellowstoae Park entered thouh Gardiner Gateway the oficial entrance. Modern, up-to-date trains daily to and from the North Pacibe Coast. Through Pullmacs to the Cosst and to the Park boundary. Send for travel literature—tornished free. Northern Pacific Railway. A. M. Cleland comicbooks.com