Life, 1909-02-04 · page 18 of 40
Life — February 4, 1909 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several brief satirical pieces mocking political figures and social issues of the Theodore Roosevelt era: **"Mental Reservation"** jokes about Senator selection, with Roosevelt deliberately mispronouncing a name—likely referencing New York Senate politics. **"Would He Rather or Go Hunting?"** compares Roosevelt favorably to the Russian Czar, suggesting both would prefer adventures abroad to their actual duties, though Roosevelt would make a better ruler. **"Hard to Believe"** ridicules Kentucky's recent prohibition laws by noting a whiskey barrel became empty—implying such a thing would be impossible under those new temperance regulations. **"The Possum Is Now Sacred to Taft"** contrasts Roosevelt's totem animal (associated with cunning) with Taft's (associated with pockets/money)—suggesting Taft represents financial rather than adventurous values. **"The Cap Sheaf"** satirizes a banker claiming prosperity is so good he must *reduce* savings interest rates—mocking the transparent self-interest disguised as economic explanation. The overall tone reflects progressive-era skepticism toward politicians' and businessmen's stated motives.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A Mental Reservation A NEW YORKER hastened pell mell, To Teddy, and asked him, “ Pray tell Who our Senator'll be Said he, “ R-O-O— But left out S-E-V-E-L. Would He Rather or Go Hunting ? HE Czar envies Pres- ident Roosevelt his African trip and release from the cares of state. Likely enough Mr. Roose- velt can heartily recipro- envy, for if there is a would like better than would be, like that he ing in Africa it enough, to be Czar. And what a Czar he would make, so long as his bomb-proof lasted! The people would like him, but the Grand Dukes would hate him worse than the Senate does, and for kindred reasons. Hard to Believe T says in the Courier Journal that on January 8, Cyrus Dawson, of Hop- kinsville, Ky., dropped a match through a hole in the head of an empty whiskey barrel and was blown up and his arm broken The incredible part of this story is that there should be a town left in Ken- tucky where, under the laws lately passed to discourage the sale and consumption of hard liquor, a whiskey barrel can be- come empty. Oh! Oh! The Boston Transcript says Indian Com- Leupp is yearning for his. first love, journalism. When Mr. Leupp let it je of years ago that there were more Indians in the United States than there were in 1492 there were those who thought that he was yarning for his first love.— le Conrier Journal, has had something to say re- cently about veracity and other qualities of the newspapers, but nothing so severe as that ey The Possum Is Now Sacred to Taft R. ROOSEVELT’S totem was the animal with the hug. Mr. Taft's totem is the animal with the pocket. Prosperity is coming back Simple Surgery If you want successful surgery, the public. must be educated to. sce the necessity of dissection, vivisec and autopsics—Dr. David W. Cheever, of the Harvard Medical School. S between successful and un- successful surgery, doubtless successful surgery is the preferable But even for this, the supply ex- ceeds the demand. The supply, so to speak, is forced upon the consumer, whether he wi or no. The surgeon tells him operation is necessary, and as he is not in a position to dispute the surgeon's opinion, he submits. If he lives to pay the bill, it is likely to be as much as he can stand. “s The Cap Sheaf F conclusive proof were lacking of the definite and unreserved re- turn of prosperity, it has been fur nished by a prominent savings bank official of New York who has an nounced that the interest rate on savings deposits must be reduced. Viewed off-hand, this might not sound like prosperity, but this of- ficial does not belong to the els of arbitrary men who object to tak- ing the public into their confidence. He comes right out and tells his reason. He says that times are too good to pay as much as heretofore. because the securities in which the sav- ings funds are invested have become so high in price that there is no longer sufficient margin of profit for the banker. It’s a good wind that blows no ill. that an A Messenger ND in those days there came one John, a Baptist, preaching in the wilderness. He had been feeding on locusts and wild honey, widows and orphans and good things. And he said The hour is at hand when I shall square myself with the American people. I have been rotten and ye have reviled me; I have rebated, and ye have found me out; I have declined to be investi- gated, and it has come to pass that I have seen my mistake. Therefore 1 shall now be frank and open and en- gaging, telling all I know, and showing “THE GAY WIITE WAY that I really have a kind heart. Do you come, therefore, and listen to what I have to say for myself. For the hour is at hand when no man who has made a colossal fortune but shall have the op- portunity to explain that he did it from the highest motives and in the fear of God. And the people heard him, wondering. His Faults Are Not Alcoholic HE Sun’s intimations that President Roosevelt drinks too much will do him no more harm than its ocea- sional intimations that he is crazy. He is very temperate in his drinks; not totally abstinent, but methodically and decidedly abstemious. That is too well known for suggestions to the con- trary to do any harm. In his manage- ment of his physical resources the Presi- dent is a model comicbooks.com