Life — January 28, 1909 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Tue Czar: I will build two big battleships. Joun Buri: I will build four. Tue Czar: I will build eight. Joun Butt: I will build sixteen. Tue Czar: Let us have peace—Hamilton (Conada) Spectator. Equally Guilty The proprietor of a certain hotel in Maine is not only one of the kindest and best hearted of men, but also one of the most profane. He swears without knowing it and means no offense. He spends but little time in the office and is prac- tically unknown to many of the guests. One day, however, he was in conversation with the man- ager when a lady interrupted them. “T want my room changed,” she said. “It is on the side overlooking the kitchen, and I am annoyed by the swearing of some man down there every morning. I ama church woman and will not stand it another day.’’ The remarks were addressed to the manager, for she did not know the proprietor or that the ‘one who did the swearing was he. “Do you happen to know who that man is? ’” he asked, before the manager could reply. “No, I do not,’’ she answered. “Well, I do,’’ the proprietor continued; “and he doesn’t mean any more when he swears than you do when you get down on your knees to pray.’'—Lippincott’s. Didn't Need Help Four-year-old Helen wished to get into the play-room, but the gate (which had been put at the door to keep her baby brother in) was locked. She tried again and again to climb over it, when at last her mother heard her say, “ Dear God, please help me get over this gate.’’ Just then, she tumbled over, and said, “Never mind; I got over myself.""—Harper’s Magazine. A New Way to Pat Two Irishmen were discussing the various books they had read. “Have you read ‘The Eternal City’? “T have.” “ Have you read Marie Corelli’s works?’* “1 have that.”’ “ Have you read ‘Looking Backwards “How on airth could I do that? ’'—Ladies’ Home Journal. ne “LOOK WHAT SOME DARNED FOOL SENT ME FOR A BIRTHDAY PRESE A Frigid Roast Hon: Would you like to see women voters at the polls? Non: Yes, indeed. At the North and South Poles.—Sewance Tiger. Miss Siox: So you don’t approve of foreign missions? A. Tnetst: Heavens, yes! I consider it a most excellent means of ridding the country of an undesirable element.—Tammany Tiger. A Problem The proprietor of a tanyard was anxious to fix a suitable sign to his premises. Finally happy thought struck him. He bored a hole through the doorpost acd stuck a calf’s tail into it, with the tufted end outside. After a while he saw a solemn-faced man standing near the door looking at the sign. The tanner watched him a minute, and then stepped out and addressed him. “ Good-morning, si he said. “ Good-morning,”’ said the other, without tak- ing his eyes off the sign. “Do you want to buy leather? "* asked the tanner, “No.” “ Perhaps you've got some hides to sell? ’’ “N, “Are you a farmer?"* “No “What are you, then?’ “Iam a philosopher. I've been standing here for nearly an hour, trying to find out how that calf got through that hole.’'—Philadelphia In- quirer, Prays for the Country W. R. Stubbs, a leading Republican of Kansas, took his little son to Washington recently, and visited the Senate gallery with him. Rev. Ed- ward Everett Hale especially interested the boy. Mr. Stubbs explained that Mr. Hale was the chaplain of the Senate. “Oh, he prays for the Senate, doesn’t he? ’’ asked the lad. “No,’’ replied Stubbs, “he gets up and takes a look at the Senate, and then prays for the country.’"’—New York Tribune. Sne: Is it true that Miss Blank is going to marry the Prince? He: Er—well, they have issued a denial of the story which contradicted the report as to the falsity of the rumor that the account was un- true.—Brooklyn Life. Lire is published every Tharsday, British Possessions, $5.00 a year in adv: ‘Union, $1.04 a year; to Canada, $2 cents. months from date of publication, 25 cents. No contribution wwill be returned unless accompanied by stamped ane dogs nat hal ittel{ rerponsible for the loss or now return ‘Lire is for sale fealers in Great Britain. in the United States, Great Britain, Canada and e. Additional postage to forei Single current copies. 10 cents, The International News Company, Breams Buildi alsoats » Chancet countries in the Postal bach's News Excha ecornes, ick numbers, after three and addressed envelope. L4 contributions. permiies Lane, London, EC Paris; 1, Via Birense, Milang Mayence, Germab: Se text and illustrations in Live are copyrighted, and are aan to be reproduced without special oained in advance. Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address, and, Acmrrs. Brentano's, 37 Ave, de Opera, Pars: wove Street Leicester Square, W. Lombet 8 Ree Seaboard Florida Limited Handsomest quickest Florida train. Electric lighted, all Pullmans, com- prising Double Drawing-room, Com- rae Club, Observation and Special cars for Palm Beach, eer ights Key. Runs daily except Sunday as follows: Ly. New Yor ith 0 eon day Year Round Limited and the Florida Fast Mall, the Seaboord affords its patrons service, ever fered to Pied? and the ‘Carohnas. kets, permitting stopover In both direc- tions, on sale November 1st to April 30th. For Winter Resort Booklet and Information ad- dress Northern offices below Bakimors Continental Trust ‘Washington, 1421 Penaa, Avenue SEABOARD AIR LINE RY. THE SPEAKING VOICE By KATHERINE JEWELL EVERTS [From The Outlook] AMERICANS may not have understood all that Mr. Henry James had to say about the defects of the speaking voice in this country, but they are beginning to recognize those defects and to understand the fundamental importance of right breathing, pure tones, full music of the vowels, clear definition of the con- sonants, and the charm of shading and emphasis, playing like light and shade over the entire vocal expression. many high, shrill, nervous voices in this country. One hears too Miss Everts’ interesting and thoroughly usable book combines in rare degree the knowledge of the mechan: practical suggestions for individual study. m of the voice with skill in making This most beautiful and expressive of instruments, as Miss Everts explains in her clear and practical presentation of Zhe Speaking Voice, can be trained at home, with a very moderate amount of work and expenditure of time. ought to be a part of the education of the home. HARPER & BROTHERS This training Post 8v0. Cloth, $1.00, net. Publishers :: NEW YORK comicbooks.com