Life, 1909-01-21 · page 12 of 28
Life — January 21, 1909 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct pieces: 1. **"Gaston and Annette"** — A narrative poem by Thomas R. Ytarra about a French couple and their automobile, illustrated with a sketch of an early motorcar. The humor appears to derive from the woman's refusal to sit still during the ride. 2. **"The Immortal"** — A brief anecdote about two museum visitors remarking that marble statues were "once alive," accompanied by a caricature illustration labeled "LOVE IN OIL" (unclear what specific reference this makes). 3. **"Frogs"** — A humorous piece mocking bog-related legislative obstruction, using "frogs hanging over Congress" as metaphor for perpetually stalled bills. The page represents typical early 20th-century Life magazine satirical humor mixing domestic comedy, art commentary, and political jabs.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
100 Gaston and Annette Or Havoc in Two French Hearts HE bold Gaston De Saucisson (Aristocratie name!) Adored Annette De Serviette, A haughty little dame. Whene'er he rode To her abode To hear her voice’s sound, He made his horse Do tours-de-force In covering the ground And he would sigh And to her ery: “ My home beats yours, pray note, By two spiked walls, Three seneschals, One large and roomy moat, Fourteen galoots In iron suits, The dearest parapet, And kegs, to burn, Of Haut Sauterne.” “Oh, splash!” remarked Annette. She cried: “ Dear sir, I shall not stir.” (Oh, fie, the young coquette!) She added: “ Blow Your old chateau!" (Annette! Annette! Annette!!!) De Saucisson Just blubbered : “ Bon,” And rode off, much depressed, Unsheathed his sword, Observed: “Ob, Lord!” And—baved his noble breast! The placid Rhone, The sweet Dordogne, Went winding o'er their cour The gay Garonne, Went streaming on, French cows were out in force; The shining Seine Flowed o'er the plain While. in their clusters dense, Gleamed vinous grapes Of x (That's pretty good suspense.) iy shs Did Gaston die? Assuredly— His last word was Annette, (Though some aver That it was “de,” And others, “ Serviette."") Did she show grief? Reyond belie At noon the news she read, At half-past one She was a nun, At seven she was dead. Thomas R. Ytarra ETHEL AND JACK SQUEEZE INTO THE FRONT SEAT, SO THAT MOTHER DEAR CAN HAVE THE BACK ONE Al - The Immortals WO women were standing recently before some original torsos of gods in an art museum not far from Boston After gazing at the marbles for some moments, one of the women was heard to remark to her companion: “ To think that they were once alive! "” “DONE IN OIL"? TO HER OWN PRECIOUS Fogs There has been an offer of \ ig many thousand dollars, stand- for'over a hundred and fifty we; 4, ing BAG > years, in the name of a great Vik company in London for any- thing that will dissolve. fogs. : The man who can clear the ship ebannel of New York harbor from fog, even for a few hours ata time, will be hy as the wonder’ of the age.— Argonaut. THER well-known fogs, which bear the unique distinction of never lifting, even for a few hours at a time, are those hanging over Congress and all of the state legislatures. ever, the most notable American fog is the tariff fog. No one has yet been able to penetrate it, although several able statesmen are dimly seen from time to time groping through it with dark lan- terns. The literary fog is also quite preva- lent in these parts, It is .in several blankets, namely, the philosophical, the theological, the medical, and the Henry James or fiction blanket A good all-around fog disperser ought to get almost as large a salary as we are paying in pensions cach year. SKELETON in the closet is better than two skeletons in the divorce court. comicbooks.com