Life, 1909-01-07 · page 56 of 60
Life — January 7, 1909 — page 56: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising and humorous content**, not political satire. The main items are: **Advertisements:** Keen Kutter Safety Razors, White Rock water, Burpee seeds, and travel services dominate the layout. **Humor Content:** The substantive piece is "The Higher Office Boy," a satirical poem about New York's new training school for office boys. It mocks the school's attempt to instill propriety and discipline—requiring clean fingers, no cigarettes, respectful behavior, and honest work—by having a young office boy voice his resentment in dialect verse. He plans to abandon office work entirely for outlaw life ("border strife," becoming a "sco[undrel]" or pirate). The joke is generational: well-meaning reformers try to civilize working-class youth through rules, but the boy rebels against constraint itself. The closing "Fire Insurance" joke plays on this theme—he wants insurance against losing his job, not his house. This reflects early-1900s anxiety about **youth management and working-class respectability**.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Safety Razor Perfected The last argument against the safety razor is overcome by the Keen Kutter Safety Razor. It is the final improvement that makes perfection. In the first place the blades are of finest Norwegian steel, tempered hard as crystal and thick enough to prevent vibration or spring while shaving. The ad- justment is so accurate that it will never scrape—never slp over the beard. It is impossible to shave wrong with a KEEN KUTTER Safety Razor Like all Tools and Cutlery bearing this famous name and trademark the Keen Kutter Safety Razor is guaranteed to give perfect satis- faction or money refunded. If not at your dealer’s, write us. Mo. KT Saete Preven, 1m Gowwme Buse Losrece Cast, $2.56 We. K-3 Gove Puarce, m Genume Excuse Pre Sam Cas, 5.00 SIMMONS HARDWARE COMPANY (Inc.) St. Louis and New York, U.S. A. While Rock. “The World’s Best Table Water’’ ready, 1269 Richard's Teor Almanack," the hit of 1:08, Beautifully bound Austrated hw Sent fi Address White Rock, Flatiron Lillg., New York City. written on the front of a postal card Burpee, Philadelphia and your own address ‘on the back will bring you a copy of The Leading | American Sced Catalog—provided you intend to have a garden this season. k of 174 pages, with colored plates painted from Nature. It tells the pla trath about The Best Seeds that Grow. We have the = 1. st Mailorder Sea tae nae wont st Burpee, Philadelphia sufficient to address simply The Boston ROUND Travel Society Camden, South Carolina WORLD ®? World THE KIRKWOOD Remarkable Fonr Month Journeys T. EDMUND KRUMBHOLZ Thurs: Magn Boylston and Berkeley Sts., ‘of The Sagamore on Lake Geonse Boston, Mass. EARLY MORNING POST COLLECTION SECOND-CLASS MALE MATTER The Higher Office Boy {New York has started a training school for office boys to fill a long-felt want among busi- ness men.] They're goin’ to train us office kids to shun them things the boss forbids. We'll learn to bow and tip our lids Perlitely. In this yere trainin’ school they mean to make us keep our fingers clean An’ not stained up with nickertine Unsightly. It's fare-thee-well to cigarettes. We've got to act like mamma’s pets, It's up to us to fight, so let’s Start kicking. A feller mustn’t carve his name or put the date when he came On desks or else he'll get a blame Good licking If there's an errant to be done, we've got to do it on the run. We mustn't stop to have no fun : Nor nuthin’. We've got to learn to hate a lie, our grandmas ain't no right to die. T guess they want to keep a guy Jes’ shut in. We've got to learn to make ro noise grouchy geezers what employs The new made-over office boys Will bristle If they should hear us chewing gum want us angel es dumb, We mustn't stamp our feet or hum Or whistle I mean to quit cis business life. It’s me, b’jec! for border strife. Il buy a g bowie knife. No hi Of pay will stop me goin’ out an’ chasin’ painted fien’s abo I mean to either be a sco: Or pirate. Fire Insurance “T came to see if I can get some fire insur- ance."* “On your home?” “No, on my job.""—Houston Post. comicbooks.com