Life — December 17, 1908 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

od BALE Jehe vx OoR fOOLISHy (ONTEMPORARYE RARIES A HARD LANGUAGE “Leesten!"’ said the perplexed Frenchman. “When you give a sing, you cannot keep ‘ecm! sor? * said the English instructor. “ But when a hones’ n gives ‘ees word, ‘ce ‘eem. So?" * said the instructor. “But when ‘ee give ‘ces word, ‘ow can ‘ce n? Does ‘ee take ‘eem back?” said the instructor. f 'ee keeps ‘ees word 'ee does not give "een “Oh, yes! If he does not keep his word he is not an honest man."" Ah, I beegeen to s word and not taken n back, ’ce keep ‘eem all ze while? "’ That's it! “Oh, 1 , la! What a language Englishe ! ''—Democratic ! 'Aving given 'e Why ruinan expensive Aut PANHARD OIL solves the problem THE SUNDAY PAPER I spent five cents for the Sunday “ Dart hauled it home in a two-wheeled cart; I piled the sections upon the floor, till they reached high as the kitchen door; I hung the chro! upon the wall, though there wasn't room to hang them all, and the yard was littered some t feet deep with “comic sections"? that made me d there were sections of pink and green, an’s section and magazine, and sheets of music the which if played would quickly make adience fade; and there were patterns for s gowns and also for gentlemen's hand- se mustache and a rubber a deck of cards and a parasol. Now auling away mporia Gazette. N. C.: The four-season resort of th Manor, the English like Inn of Asheville. NOT THAT KIND “You claim to be a sailor?’’ sniffed the doubtful housewife. “Yes, mum," hastened Hornpipe Harry, as he took a reef in his trousers “ But you don't make use of that nautical ex- pression, ‘Shiver my timbers’? “Oh, no, mui * Shiver ne gasba “s I am an air-ship sailor, mum."'—Chicago News. UNCERTAIN The secretary of one of the college classes at Princeton, in sending out each year a list of questions to be answered by members of the class, in order that the results may be duly tabu- lated and set forth in the university annual, is aid always to include in his list this question: Are you engaged? "’ It would seem that one of the members was cursed with doubt in this respect, for in the blank space given over to the query mentioned he made his return as follows: “Do not know. Am awaiting letter."’—Har- per’s Magazine. Mus. Newtywep: And you may send around some beech-nut bacon with those other groceries. We're all vegetarians at our house, you know— The Bellman, GREAT BEAR SPRING WATER “It’s purity has made it famous” The secret of superiority in pneumatic tires is in the rubber composition. The form and shape are standard. The makers of the Kelly-Springfield Solid Tire make CONSOLIDATED RUBBER TIRE COMPANY, 20 Vesey St., New York, and Akron, Ohio Branch Offices in New York, Boston, Chicago, Philadelphia, St. Louis, Detrott, Cincinnati and San Francisco PHILIP MORRIS ORIGINAL LONDON CIGARETTES Are just as good today as fifty years ago. CAMBRIDGE AMBASSADOR regular size after-dinner size perience has proved that the ocean trip in comfortable steamers, with fine sa- loons, large smoking rooms, pleasant cabins and ample promenade decks is the ideal route to Florida Also St. Johns River Service be- tween Jacksonville, Palatka, De Land, Sanford, Enter- prise, Fla., and intermediate land- ings. Direct and frequent service to Charleston and Jacksonville 1. RAYMOND, ¥.?.4 6.4. AC. RACESTY, 6.P. General Offices : Por 36, H. R., Rew York.