Life — December 3, 1908 — page 48: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Tne American in the corner of the non-smok- ing first-class carriage insisted on lighting his cigar. The indignant Britisher in the other cor- ner protested, but in vain. At the next station he hailed the guard with hostile intent, but the placid American was too quick for him. “Guard,"" he drawled, “I think you'll find that this gentleman is traveling with a third- class ticket on hi Investigation proved him to be right, and the indignant Britisher was ejected. A spectator of the little scene asked the triumphant American how he knew about that ticket “Well,” explained the imperturbable stranger, “it was sticking out of his pocket and I saw it was the same color as mine."’—Argonaut COVERED BY THE RULES A bright girl in a large school applied to her teacher for leave to be absent half a day, on a plea that her mother had received a telegram which stated that company was on the way father’s half-sister and said the pupil, “and mother doesn't see how she can do without me because those boys always act so dreadfully.”* The teacher referred her to the printed list of reasons which justified absence, and asked if her case came under “T think it might come under this head, Miss Rules,’’ said the girl, pointing, as she spoke, to the words “ Domestic afliction.’’—Philadelphia Ledger. her three anxiously of them “Tue office should seek the man,’’ remarked the idealist “ Perhaps,’ answered Senator Sorghum an office doesn’t get encouragement in prowling around seeking anybody. In fact, it has to roost high to keep from being grabbed off the perch.""—Washington Star. “but uch Asnevitte, N. C.: The four-se South, Tue Manor, the English-like 1 n resort of the of Asheville A LA MODE “What's that curious looking charm you are wearing on your watch chain?” “That is our new coat-of-arms—chauffeur rampant, police couch justice of the peace expectant.""—Montreal Standard DIDN'T KNOW MUCH “ How do you like your teach Mary was asked, after her first ¢ school “I like her said Mary, “but I don't think she knows much, for she just keeps asking questions all the time."'—Delineator dear?" little well,”" Good lubrication is essential to the life of an Automobile, Use PANHARD OIL It’s standard. SOMETHING SOULFUL “You are going to say something soulful,"’ de- clared the fiancé. “I sce it in your lovely eyes.”” “What I was going to say is this,” responded the fiancée. “Won't you wear a rubber band around your head nights, so as to train your ears not to stick out? ’—Louisville Courier-Journal. HEREDITY Knicker: Whom does the baby resemble? Bocker: Its yell takes atter its father's col- lege—New York Sun, GREAT BEAR SPRING WATER It’s purity has made it famous” Grane's wn OR over a hun- dred years people of taste have used Crane’s writing papers. They were the best to be had in the early days of the country. ‘They are the best to be had today. They are made in the same spot, by the same family, with the same stan- dard of quality as in the past, and Crane’s Linen Lawn is today one of the most popular of the famous Crane papers. Crane’sLinen Lawn can be identified by the water-mark ‘*Crane’s.’’ No reputable stationer will offer you anything else when you ask for Crane's. 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