Life, 1908-12-03 · page 28 of 68
Life — December 3, 1908 — page 28: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a multi-panel comic story about a bachelor reminiscing over old love letters from a woman named Helen (Nellie). The narrative depicts a cautionary fantasy: had he married her, both he and her father (Henry Haddock and Oliver) would have ended up impoverished and broken men, reduced to destitution by some unspecified "awful curse." The satire's punchline arrives when Helen and her mother rescue them—but reveal their true priority: they want to return to their social club to play bridge, not help the men. This deflates the romantic fantasy entirely, suggesting that marrying into this family would have meant financial ruin chasing after women more devoted to leisure activities than domestic responsibility. The accompanying "Xmas Xamples" section offers witty aphorisms mocking Christmas materialism and romantic expectations—including the final jab that "Christmas presents cover a multitude of debts." The humor targets both sentimental bachelor nostalgia and the perceived frivolousness of upper-class women.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
SS LIFESSS IF HE HAD MARRIED HER THE REVERY OF A MACHELOR OVER HIS OLD LOVE LETTERS and the other man, older and broken down, huddled feebly before a faintly flickering fire. They were, indeed, Henry Haddock and Oliver, who, with both of their lives broken up, with no spirit left to cope with the world, had fled together, and each day sinking lower and lower, were now reduced to the last extremity. Bound together by a common sorrow and rendered homeless by the awful curse, they still clung together. “Henry,’’ muttered the old man, “1 sometimes love to think of the bright and happy home that once was mine.” “And I,"" muttered Henry, “love to dream of the bright and happy home that might have been mine ifi— Look how the snow falls. But what is that?” It was the sound of horses’ hoofs. A carriage stopped in front of the door. Steps ascended. The door was burst open. And in a moment Helen and her mother stood before them. “Oh, father!" cried Nellie, “Oh, Henry! How could you desert us? We have been searching for you everywhere. To think ’"— But the two men were still filled with natural pride. Both drew themselves up shoulder to shoulder.” “Have you," asked Henry, haughtily, “stopped playing bridge? Other- wise "!— Nellie laughed a peel of gay laughter. “Of course we have,"’ she said. “Why, all we wanted was to make enough money to retire on. And this we have done. Come back to us and we will prove our love. Indeed, we will! We had 10 work hard, but, of course, it's all over now. Mamma and I ask but to make up for the past “And you swear,"” murmured the old man, “never to play again?” We do.” “ Then let us all go home.’* There was a short pause. Nellie and her mother exchanged a swift glance. “We will call back again in two hours,”” she said. “Why not now?’? demanded Henry. In answer Nellie laid a neatly gloved hand appealingly on his arm. “Dear Henry," she said, soothingly, “if you and papa don’t mind, I thought we would like to go back to the club just this once and play one last rubber.”” TeLe Mt Xmas Xamples LITTLE mistletoe is a dangerous thing. People who live in flat houses shouldn't expect Christmas trees. It’s a wise boy who knows his own Santa Claus. The Christmas shopper and her allow- ance are soon parted. A pretty girl is known by the mistletoe she hangs up All's not gold that you get for Christ- mas. A present in the stocking is worth two in the shop window. There's many a slip ‘twixt the mistle- toe and the lip. Christmas presents cover a multitude of debts. J.J. O'Connell, comicbooks.com