Life — November 12, 1908 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

"OR POOLISHs Se ONTEMPORARTES WHERE, OH WHERE? The old landlord of a small country inn was sitting listlessly before the fire in the bar parlor when the door opened and a loud-voiced young fellow exclaimed : “Halloa, grandad! Get your frame in cireu- lation! Don’t sit round here like an old woman! I want accommodation for man and beast.”” “Where's the man?" asked the old landlord in a flash —Tit-Bits. AS GOOD AS DONE Sir Joseph Ward, premier of New Zealand, says in St. Jomes’s Budget that there are few tight places from which the Maori witch-doctor can- ¢ himself, thanks, in a measure, to credulity. Rua, a local power in magic, once claimed that he could walk on water, and went to the beach with a number of natives who were anxious for im to perform the feat. “Do you truly believe that I can walk on the water?" he asked them. “Yes! Yes!" his followers cried, with one voice. “Then there is no need for me to do it,”” the chief coolly replied, and he turned away, fol lowed by the awed natives—Youth’s Companion. Asnevitte, N. C.t The four-season resort of the South. Tie Manor, the English-like Inn of Asheville. EVEN HONORS One of the Tammany delegates at the Denver convention was approached by an old acquaint- ance who was badly down in his luck. Sidling up to the Tammanyite he said: “Say, Billy, lend me a twenty, will you? I'm short.’” The New Yorker went down into his pocket, fished out a big roll and handed a ten-dollar bill to the seedy one. “ Say, Billy," said he of the “touch,” “I said twenty.” “I know you did," said the politician, “ but I think this way is fairer. You lose ten and I lose ten. See? "—P. V. Bunn in Success. In a Pinch use ALLEN'S FOOT-EASE, OF ONE PURPOSE The stranger advanced toward the door Mrs. O'Toole stood in the doorway with a rough stick in her left hand and a frown on her brow. “Good morning,’ said the stranger, politely. “I'm looking for Mr. O'Toole.” “So'm I," said Mrs. O'Toole, shifting her club over to the other hand.—Everybody’s. “Ysonet, do you think you could learn to love me?”* “Learn to love you! Oh, give lessons in loving you!" ravers, I could odern Socicty. NAMING THE PICTURE. The artist was of the impressionist school He had just given the last touches to a purple and blue eanvas when his wife came into the studio, “My dear,” said he, “this is the landscape T wanted you to suggest a title for.” “Why not call it ‘Home?’” she said after a long look. “*Home?’ Why?'? “ Because there's no place like it," she replied meckly.—Glasgow Times, GREAT BEAR SPRING WATE “It's purity has made it famou One Policy — One System Universal Service HAT the American public requires a telephone service that is univer- sal is becoming plainer every day. Now, while people are learning that the Bell service has a broad national scope and the flexibility to meet the ever varying needs of telephone users, they know little of how these results have been brought about. The key- note is found in the motto—‘‘One policy, one system, universal service.” Behind this motto may be found the American Telephone and Telegraph Company—the so-called “parent” Bell Company. o 8 © 6 A unified policy is obtained because the American Telephone and Telegraph Company has for one of its functions that of a holding company, which fede- rates the associated companies and makes available for all what is accom- plished by each. As an important stockholder in the associated Bell companies, it assists them in financing their extensions, and it helps insure a sound and uniform financial policy. . 8 © «6 A unified system is obtained because the American Telephone and Telegraph Company has for. one of its functions the ownership and maintenance of the telephones used by the 4,000,000 sub- scribers of the associated companies, A Gettghttat totes aration ‘thet poctively ad wied proot completion, end prevents od vanbarm ” Price tne. Literal Samples and 64. Free i aba Mire Gervales Gradam, 1565 Michizen Areata, Chleage, IL In the development of the art, it orig- inates, tests, improves and protects new appliances and secures economies in the purchase of supplies. It provides a clearing - house of standardization and thus insures econ- omy in the construction of equipment, lines and conduits, as well as in ope- rating methods and legal work—in fact, in all the functions of the associated companies which are held in common. o 8 «© e Universal, comprehensive service is obtained because the American Tele- phone and Telegraph Company has among its other functions the construc- tion and operation of long distance lines, which connect the systems of the associated companies into a unified and harmonious whole. It establishes a single, instead of a divided, responsibility in inter-state connections, and a uniform system of operating and accounting; and secures a degree of efficiency in both local and long distance service that no association of independent neighboring companies could obtain. ° e «© Hence it can be seen that the American Telephone and Telegraph Company is the active agency for securing one policy, one system, and universal service—the three factors which have made the telephone service of the United States superior to that of any other country. Porio Rico The special tours of the New York & Porto Rico Steamship Co, occupy three weeks, and are ideal yachtiog excursions on summer sexs, The steamers have every coo" venience, with only outside staterooms, They circle the entire island and stop at many ints resting and historic locali- ties. The ship is the tourist’s hotel during the entire trip,t0 that the labor and inconvenience of land travel is avoide special tourist rate for this cruise is $140,whi includes every expense. Write for illustrated booklet. THE NEW YORK & PORTO RICO STEAMSHIP CO. 12 Broadway, New York, or Raymood & Whitcomb Co., New York, and all Princioa! Cases Aad 1] Had For th Wh: And 1 Rats An Press Comicbooks.com