Life — October 8, 1908 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

human who discovered himself D mint, fter long and carnest effort, with the aid of a detect- ive, who had to come to life twice, how- ever, before his master realized his real worth, This gentleman sowed a crop of characters in England and reaped the reward in America. The only stumbling block against his immortality is that he has been made a member of the British nobility. It is hoped, however, that he will live this down. His greatest merit is that he reduced logic to an inexact science. His greatest crime: That he has laid the basis of more horrible bur- lesques than any other writer. Favorite tool: Typewriter. Recreation: Deposit- fe money. Cable address, “ Hypoder- “ COME, GIRLS, AND LISTEN TO THE LITTLE STREET SINGER” “LIP E- Who's What In and Out of America bie, Hamilton W.—A culture ex- pert, book chaperon and human li erary bureau, with headquarters in the Ladies’ Home Journal and branch offices in every earnest maidens’ circle. Th gentleman has spent his life in roaming over the ficlds of literature, and offers chaste thoughts to all who will pay the modest price asked. Purity guaranteed. Early in life he started out with the idea of laying up a stock of human in- telligence, but moving to the same place that is infested by Anthony Comstock, he draped his nude ambi- tion in correct garments and is now the Y. M. C. A. of all standard sets. His principal occupation is looking wise. Recreatio Philadelphia Author of “Shakespeare from a Sunday Magazine Point of View,” “Literary Lingerie,” ete. Cable address, “ Namby Pamb; Not Extravagant “The great cruise of her great fleet makes America a cosmic power.”—Lon- don Telegraph, A unfailing consolation is cheaply purchased at almost any price, and there's no citizen conscious of his blessings but will feel it worth his share of the taxes to be able to reflect, as often as his carburetor goes wrong, or his daughter marries the butler, or the dward, Albert.—A King in good standing, who draws a respectable income for doing nothing and looking pleasant. This gentleman was born on the outskirts of the British throne nearly threescore years ago, and has been wear- ing good clothes ever since. He began collecting debts in his teens, and worked hard at this trade for many years. He has always been very democratic in his tastes, freely associating with _ his nephew William. For many years he has led an upright life, speaking his piece from the throne each year with ease, and he is not even responsible for Alfred Austin. The only real sin he has ever committed is the origin of the fashion of wearing frock coats in the suburbs. His favorite motto is “It's never too late to spend."? Address care W. W. Astor slings and arrows of a modernly out- rageous fortune press otherwise hard, that we are nevertheless a cosmic power. And more! We can jolly well afford to spend a lot of money demonstrating all these things which aren't so con- cerning the relations between the cog- nate branches of the Anglo-Saxon race. RB. A convention of crooks is to be held in New York.—Rochester Democrat and Chron- iele. O course the reason for this selection is plain. They didn’t want to at- general attention to themselves. » wanted to hide their identi