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Life, 1908-10-01 · page 38 of 44

Life — October 1, 1908 — page 38: what you’re looking at

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Life — October 1, 1908 — page 38: Life, 1908-10-01

What you’re looking at

This page is primarily **advertisements and light humor pieces**, not political satire. The main content includes: **"The Investigator"** — A humorous monologue about a hypocrite who claims vegetarianism, mental science, and political independence, yet admits eating meat when hungry, visiting doctors when sick, and voting the same party ticket every election. The joke targets people who espouse idealistic principles but abandon them for practical convenience. **Other humor pieces** ("Too Easy for Him," "Reassuring") are brief jokes with no political content—just wordplay and situational comedy. **The advertisements** (Coupon Bond paper, Woodmere real estate, Imperiales cigarettes, hats, trunks) dominate the page and represent typical early 20th-century commercial messaging. There are **no identifiable political figures or cartoons** requiring historical context. This is a mixed editorial/advertising page typical of Life magazine's format during this era.

📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Real Pearl or Imitation? HERE can be no two ways about it. With your business paper it is simply a question of which is best qualified to represent your house, your goods, and yourself—Bond or near-bond. COUPON BOND ‘THE DE LUXE BUSINESS PAPER is real bond, made of real rag, new rag, without an atom of wood pulp in it. It is as su- perior to ordinary bond papers as real pearl is to imitation. JUDGE IT YOURSELF Write us on your business letterhead for samples of this splendid paper in all colors, and compare it, side by side, ith the paper you are using. If you are looking for a paper whose wearing- power, working-power and impressing- power stands out head and shoulders above any other bond, this test will show you exactly how to get it. AMERICAN WRITING PAPER Co. Largest Manufacturers of Writing. Book and Cover, and other Papers for Business So) Purposes. 29 Mills. WOODMERE LONG ISLAND EVERY IMPROVEMENT A TOWN IN ITSELF WARM IN WINTER COOL IN SUMMER THE BEST HOME FOR NEW YORKERS WOODMERE LAND ASSOCIATION Woovmenn, L, 1 New York Office 18 East 34th Street Brooklyn Ofce Opposite Montauk Theatre THE INVESTIGATOR Yes, I'm a vegetarian (between meals, understand); I'm proud to be included with the “no-life-taking ” band. Instead of eating creatures that have hoofs or claws or wings Or shells or fins, things. Ab, yes: in theory, at least, this noti But whea I'm hungry,—hang your gree to have some meat. I'd rather ine on cabbages and is complete, !—T've got Iam a mental scientist (when I am well and strong): It's such a lofty pleasure just to know that I belong With those who do not have to take those nasty little pills, Rut through the strength of thinking things can ban- ish all their ills. Ab, yes; the mind is everything: but, mind you, when I'm sick, A good, old-fashioned doctor comes to my house, double-quick. In politics, you can infer, I'm indeperdent quite (When there is no election near). I stand for truth ard right, T care not what the label is, it's all the same to me: I'm not the sort of man to wear a party collar. See? It's principle I'm after; yes, sirree; that’s it. But, wait: Election day I always vote the same old ticket * straight.” —The Century TOO EASY FOR HIM Lay: You look robust. Are you equal to the task of sawing wood? Tramp: Equal isn’t the word, mum, to it. Good mornin'!—Wasp. REASSURING AA lady on one of the ocean liners who seemed very much afraid of icebergs asked the captain what would happen in case of a collision. The captain replied: “The iceberg would move right along, madam, just as I'm superior IMPERIALES CIGARETTES have an indescribable, destinctive, inimitable taste and flavor which identifies instantly and permanent- ly. They are made of an unusual blend of the most carefully selected high grade tobacco, are rolled in thin mais paper, crimped —not pasted — and each has a mouth. piece to insure a cool, clean smoke. Their quality is always uniform— their price far below what you would ex- pect to pay for so fine a cigarette, 10c for 10. Ask your dealer for Imperiales. If he hasn’t them send us a trial order—for one package if you wish, 10c for 10 ‘THE JOHN BOLLMAN CO., Mfr. San Francisco, Cal. The first Derby made in America was a Crouch & Fitzgerald MASS. TRUNKS, BAGS and CASES | if nothing had happened,” and the old lady seemed greatly relieved.—Success. THE MIDNIGHT OIL Poets like to sing songs of the sunrise, but very few 177 Broadway of them ever care to witness that daily miracle. Bliss Carman doesn’t, at any rate. He hates the morning, Above Cortlandt, and consequently makes a practice of sleeping through 688 Broadway | it. Indeed, just in order to avoid the morning, he Below 4th St. has been known to sit up nearly all night, the better to assure a doze until noon. 723 Sixth Avenue One day at about eleven a. m., a candid friend Below 42d St. called on Carman and had to wake him out of a AUTO and WARDROBE TRUNKS | sound slumber. Distinctiveness in “Look here, Bliss,” he remonstrated, “what are | KNAPP-FELT De Luxe hats you doing in bed at this hour?” are Six Dollars—Knapp-Felts CLASS | PINS | fully struggling back to consciousness. “Well,” commented the candid friend, “ you're simply bound to shorten your days by the sort of life you're leading.” Write for “The Hatman.” Carman stretched most unpoctically. THE CROFUT & KNAPP CO. “No doubt,” he said; “but if I'm shortening my . I'm at least lengthening my nights."—Lippin- BROADWAY, AT THIRTEENTH ST.,NEW YORK. ‘rat “oe was up late last night,” yawned the poet, pain are Four Dollars, everywhere. nd Prateraity Bives—lertered as. de: sized. Write for finely filustrated bovkiet of Pina, Medals and Odd Thisgs in College Jewelry. Attractive Oller to College Book Stores, G. WM. REISNER, 212 N. Prince Street, Lancaster, Pa.