Life — October 1, 1908 — page 33: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ake sore - believe ZL, M. arefully on th’ de him- so aisy fer ot- , which h’ foot. t. Th pair iv thowgh though collar ladies sstbers , whis idened hed to iv th 1" bets re in fish, 1 a’, if emer have Bi cd bal ial las THE WAY IT LOOKS TO THE MAN IN THE MOON The United States is a Federal Republic, bounded on the north by the Extra- on the west by the dition Treaty, on the south by the Prohibition Wav Common People. The eastern extent of the country is a matter of some doubt, gs the Lounders (who are the limit) have spread all over Europe. The Government of the United States consists of four departments: Legis- secutive, Judiciary, and Financial. The Legislative tells the Executive jo, and the Judiciary tells him why he shouldn’t do it. This arrange- irbs the Radical Tendencies of the Executive without affecting his cam- Jue to the party in power. islative consists of Nelsonwaldrich and the Speaker of the House. pported by a large Chorus selected from the Common People while and teachable. Positions in the Chorus are much sought after, as and pay are good and mental qualifications are unnecessary. xecutive’s duty is to Conform to the Wishes of the Majority, though akes no difference whether he does or not. lative, it reall, The Jadiciary consists of the Supreme Court and the Law-abiding Spirit of the Puilic. The duty of the Court is to prevent Radical Executives from Hurting Business and the Spirit’s duty consists in standing by the Court. ancial is a comparatively recent addition to the Governing Powers, ounders assure us that it is very successful. Exactly who it is com- The but its posed of and what its duties are, other than a fatherly and benignant super- vision of the other three departments, we are unable to learn, as it is inclined sewhat reticent. But there is no doubt in the mind of the Casual : that it is on the job. ;mon People in many ways resemble those of other lands. They eat wear clothes in quantities varying according to the directions on ¢, the state of the weather, and the closeness of their association ancial Power. At stated intervals the Governing Powers hold called Elections, which are signalized by fierce combats among crning Powers. The weapons are wooden swords and Silver Tongues, ts are of such intensity that the Common People believe that a real fight and that They Have Something to Say About C.J. Doherty in Success. ean BEYOND THEIR REACH Sherman's march through Georgia to the sea has become mere history now, tinge of bitterness has faded out from those little personal episodes others and grandmothers used to relate with so much feeling. Yet of humor in some of the stories can never be wholly lost. own family, they tell to this day how an uncle of mine, then a quaint child of five years, solved the problem of the household migration to some safe spot when the invading army was known to be marching straight down toward the beautiful plantation home. sty and anxious council of women, boys and decrepit gray beards had ed in grandmother's big sitting-room. Immediate flight was to be by this helpless group, but the burning question was—whither? Place Aunt Kate's was too far; they could Cousin Dora's was too near—the and th whi the flay i been c n after place was proposed, and rejected. never reach it with their insufficient teams. “Yankee” soldiery might reach out long arms and capture all together. Grandaunt Drue’s was in the possible line of march. And so it went with every place proposed. When finally a moment of despairful silence had settled upon the little con- clave the piping of a small voice was heard, that of the curly headed boy, the pet of all, who had crept in, unnoticed, and listened to the anxious counselling. He was saying with such an air of absolute decision as encouraged everybody pre s all go to God’s—they won't be no Yankees there! "’—Brooklyn Life. HE KNEW HIS BUSINESS ry is told of a well-known amateur yachtsman, who was one night | near a rocky and dangerous shore. Suddenly, just before dinner, a hore wind started up, The anchor began to drag. Another was rap- »wn overboard, but in the increasing squall that, too, failed to hold. idly The schooner seemed in imminent danger of drifting on the rocks, but at last another anchor gripped, and the danger was past The yachtsman, nearly exhausted from his efforts, dropped on the deck to Fecover his breath and rest. In the quiet that followed there came to his ears the click-click-clack-click-clack of a busily manipulated spoon against a bowl. He ‘stened for a moment and then went below. The cook was preparing salad-iiressing. “Why, Sam,’* che exclaimed, in astonishment, “didn’t you know that we Rearly went ashore? "? “Oh, yassir, yassir,"’ came the undisturbed reply. “I thought she was goin’ on de rocks, suah.’’ “Well, in a case like that, don’t you ever go up on deck? close cal ? “Well, you see, it's like this, You can’t leave mayonnaise a minute, ’cause it'll tura right back.’'—Youth’s Companion. We had a mighty 363 Every Shot a Bull’s-eye In the Smith Premier Typewriter every type strikes the exact centre of the printing point every time. A wide type bar bearing is necessary to assuré this. Every typewriter manu- facturer strives to get the widest bearing possible. The Smith Premier Typewriter bearing ever has the widest type-bar made, and writes in perfect alignment. Investigate tis feature. TheSmith PremierTypewriterCo. Syracuse, N, Y. Branch Stores Everywhere THE STANDARD PAPER FOR BUSINESS STATIONER Just as every intellectual man ap- preciates intelligence, every man that uses fine business paper appreciates every other man’s use of it. LD HAMPSHIRE BOND “ Look for the Water-mark” is a sort of passport among the best business circles. It proclaims the fel- lowship of the substantial and the refined. ‘That it pays always to use OL Hanroure Roxb for commercial stationeryisthe testimony of prodent business men. 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