Life — September 17, 1908 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

eee White Rrock_ “‘The World’s Best Table Water’’ In the Fall the discrimina- jhe World's Best ting man’s fancy naturally Bitters turns to EVANS’ ALE. Ri -sigaeres There he finds pleasures in favor through. that charm the appetite out Europe forover sixty years. Enjoy: 1 nity era: Eber, and gratify the taste. and better for you. Sold Everywhere. SYTIES BROTHER U.aiAcwnan a atte a York C. H. EVANS & SONS, Hudson, Y. In splits as well as regular size bottles, HARTSHORN SHADE ROLLERS Bear the script name of ‘Stewart Hartshorn on label. Get “Improved,” no tacks required. Wood Rollers Tia Rollers What Makes the World Go ’Round? LIFE, of course. Nevertheless LIFE wants new friends: Therefore: Send us one dollar—only one dollar—before October 1st. You will receive LIFE for three months. This concession is only for new subscribers. The money must be sent to us direct, before October tst. No subscriptions will be renewed at this rate. Ad- dress LIFE, 17 West 31st Street, New York. Of course, you already know LIFE is the brightest illustrated humorous weekly in the WORLD and the most artistic, Foreign Postage, 26. Canadian, 1c. additional. July 23, 1908, GINGER ALE “BETTER THAN IMPORTED OR NO CHARGE” Lamont Corliss Co., (%¢zxrt’) 78 Hudson St., N.Y. SUCH IS LIFE You lose your coin, It comes to pass, And go to join The lobster class, “A fool,” they say in accents tart, “Must quickly from his money part,” You toil and sweat In sturdy style; Together get Another pile. Then do they roses at you chuck? Ob, no. They say, “A fool for luck.” —Lowisville Courier-Journal, IN THE VERNACULAR The girl had been three weeks in the employ of » artistic family; but her time had been by no mets wasted. Her mistress was giving her i as to the dinner. “Don't forget the potatoes,” enjoined t “No, ma'am,” was the reply; “will you in their jackets or in the nood? "—Democra: gram, Tue ship upon clearing the harbor ran into a bal pitching, holf-rolling sea, that became particalarly noticeable about the time the twenty-five passengen at the captain's table sat down to dinner. “I hope that all twenty-five of you will have a pleasant tri,” the captain told them as the soup appeared, “and tht this little assemblage of twenty-four will much benefited by the voyage. I look upo twenty-two smiling faces much as a father d his family, for I am responsible for the safety of this group of seventeen. I hope that all thirteen of you will join me later in drinking to a merry tr lieve that we seven fellow passengers are most com genial, and I applaud the judgment which chose frea the passenger list these three persons for my taile You and I, my dear sir, are—Here, steward! Brigg on the fish and clear away these dishes.""—.rgonext. A Mormox wirx, coming downstairs one morning met the physician who was attending her husband. “Is he very ill?” she asked anxiously. “He is" replied the physician, “I fear that the end is not far off. “Do you think,” she asked hesitatingly, “do you think it proper that I should be at his bedside during his last’ moments?” “Yes, But I advise you to hurry, madam The best places are already being taken.""—Everybody’s HER MISTAKE The infant of the household was in its cradle. The head of the house was at home, peevish and faslt finding. At length he became unendurable. “You've done nothing but make mistakes to-night,” he growled. “Yes,” she answered meekly; “I began by putt the wrong baby to bed.” A. P. Maxy a man is a bull in Wall street and a bear # home.—Success. HOW HE EXPLAINED The dissatisfied voter had dropped out of his res lar party and tried something else at the previow election. When he appeared to register for the next primary there was some hitch in the proceedings * Didn't you vote the prohibition ticket last time?” inquired the clerk. “Yes,” responded the voter, unabashed. How do you explain that? “Well, you see,” he explained, with charming frankness, “I was drunk at the time and didn’t know what I was doing. 5 3 The clerk accepted the explanation as quite satix factory and took him back into the fold asain— Lippincott's. THEY AGREED The tax’ assessor rejects the tax statement of & young married man with the remark: “We fail to find your wife’s property!” | Whereupon the young man wrote beneath it: do I1"—Fliegende Blactter.