Life — August 27, 1908 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

At JESTER I Ny CBee Mary had a little lamb— You've heard this fact before; But have you heard she passed her plate And had a little more? —The News. THE GENTLE ART Wit is not precisely the quality best calculated to ke friends for a man, yet, th ient virtues of Thomas McKean, the author of The Master Influence” and one or two other nov- els, list of friends is long and loyal. Among them, however, is no longer numbered a distressingly dull acquaintance who hailed when he was in a hurry to go elsewhere McKean,” he began, “1 want to consult you about a scheme of mine. I have a couple of ideas in bh wit is one of the a month or two ago my head— Have you?” said McKean. “And you want my advice? Very well, my advice is: Keep them there Keep them there, man—they may breed! "—Saturday Evening Post, \ prstitvre author is said to have gone to Dumas pere and threatened to suffocate himself and his three en unless Dumas could let him have three hun- cs at once, Dumas searched his coffers + but could find two hundred franes. d the little loves are “Suppose you suffocate yourself and save the little loves,” said Dumas —Argonaut, TOOK NO CHANCES A Scotch farmer went to town to have a tooth ex- tracted. “T would advise you to have it out by the painless system. It is only a shilling extra,” said the dentist. He showed the apparatus for administering gas, remarking that it would cause him to fall asleep, and before he awoke the tooth would be out. After reluctantly consenting the customer pro- ceeded to open his purse “Oh, never mind paying now!" “Hoots! I wasna thinkin’ 0° thot, but if I'm gaen tae sleep I thocht I wa like to coont ma siller first.” —The Scrap Book. “WILL HE BITE? ’? “1 SHOULDN’T WONDER, THEY SAY THEY'RE BAD ‘WHICH IS WORSE> Tue man who takes you aside and tells soy That you are not looking as well as yo he wouldn't be surprised if you were « with grip, appendicitis, typhoid, pneum one of a dozen more. That he ran across your wife this 1 department store, buying out the whole That he has inside information that cc ments you have made (of which in a pr of confidence you have told him) are exposed, and will drop to nothing. That he once spent a summer in the going on a vacation and—well, he wo: any one to go there. That he knows the builder of the just bought, and if anything was a ca that was. were, asd ing dows OR The other man who takes you aside and Jf you are aware that your present ¢ death, and that you must come around t a short time or— If you have heard the story of— If you care to listen to.an account of in Europe. If you have any spare cash about you. If you mind keeping his cat and dog—he is gecy away with his family for the summer—The Bol Sue: Ifa man loves his wife as much as him, he will stop wasting his money on cigars asks him. He: Yes, but if his wife loves him as much as ought to love a man who loves her enough to step 2 if she asks him, she won't ask him.—Frenizg Sux Lave ix published every ‘Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, Great Bri British $5.10 a yea ne tage to foreign coun ‘Single current copies, Iu cents, Back numbers, after th Union, $Lol a year months from date of Vo contribution will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addressed envelope. Lier is for sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain, ‘The International News Company, Breams 1¢ Postal also at Saarbach's anad and Building, Chancery Lane, London News Exchanges, St. Georges. Paris’: 1, Via Firenze, The text and illustrations in Li permission obtained in advance. Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address. ,. England, Acusts. Brentano's, 37 Aye, de VQpen, Pas » New Coventry Street, re, W. London 9, B tilan; Mayence, Germ: are copyrighted, and are not to be reproduced without jess USHER "SPECIAL RESERVE © most artistic. Foreign Post What Makes the World Go ’Round? of course, Neverthe less LIFE wants new friends. Therefore: Send us one dol jar—only one dollar — before December Ist, 14 You will re ceive LIFE for three months. his concession is only for » subscribers, rhe money must be sent to us, et, before December tst No subscriptions will be re neweid at this rate, Address LIFE, 17 West 31st Street, New York. Of course, you already know LIFE is the brighest Ulustrated humorous we: ly in the WORLD and the Canadian, 1. adi