Life — August 6, 1908 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“} wish 1 were an ostrich,” said Hicks, angrily, as | ge tric to eat one of his wife's biscuits, but couldn't, | *T wich you were,” returned Mes. Hicks, “I'd get a few feathers for my hat.""—Globe. TWAIN EMANCIPATED versity is not the only seat of learning honorary degree on Mark \ similar tribute was paid to the famous + and philosopher not so many years ago by itution at a sleepy Missouri village that him when be was playing Tom Sawyer there in real life, It happened that the degree-conferring ceremonies took phice one lazy day in June, when newspapers generally were suffering from a total collapse of everything in the way of news. ‘One Park Row news editor raked the land with a] fgurative fine-tooth comb and got a dry haul for his that Mark Twain getting t very day in his native hamlet, it occurred to him that a message direct from the famous author might relieve the situation in the news. ter much scratching of the editorial idea factory | be evolved this query, which was transmitted to Mark | Twain by wire: “How does it feel to be a Doctor of Laws? Please | wire answer at our expense.” Mter a wait of several hours this characteristic response came hot over the wire from Missouri: “Tt feels like emancipation from ignorance and vice. Mark Twatn.’ —New York T APPLIED ASTRONOMY He took me out to see the stars, That astronomic bore; He said there were two moons near Mars, While Jupiter had four. I thought of course he'd whisper soon What fourfold bliss ‘twould by To stroll beneath that fourfold moon On Jupiter with me. And when he spoke of Saturn's ring, 1 was convinced he'd say That was the very kind of thing To offer me some day. in a tangent off he went To double stars. Now that Was most suggestive, so content, And quite absorbed I sat. no, he talked a dreary mess, h the only fraction ht my fancy, I confess, mutual attraction." 1 said T thought it very queer And stupid altogether, For stars to keep so very near, yet not come together. he smiled, and turned his head; 1 caught the notion. good-night, and said, r safety lies in motion, —St. Louis Globe-Democrat. WHEN RILEY AND CARMAN MET James Whitcomb Riley and Bliss Carman, though . long standing in 1 € not meet till comparatively recently. It was in Washington, and the Canadian Poet, whose head is fully six feet four |, was walking down Pennsylvania approach, and knowing that the had never met, the Washingtonian took oc- troduce them. & with suppressed emotion, the laureate vl dropped his eyes to the pavement, grad- his glance to travel upward, as lyzing a new species of skyscraper, and ression of inimitable drollery, ejaculated, iny! Yeour parents must hev" trained ‘Sunday Magazine. Transform Dyspepsia’s Gnawing Cravings Into Honest, Healthy Hunger Of what use is a feast without an appetite? Or, what is more distressing than a stom- ach that will not digest the food itcraves? These are the signs of dyspepsia. If you let them go unheeded, you sow the seeds of weakness which will blossom in disease. Be- fore you know it you will be fast in the aggravating grip of dyspepsia—irritable, peev- ish and lacking in ambition and energy. Youcan overcome these feelings by using Pabst Extract The Best Tonic This essence of modern diet, combining the rich food elements of pure barley malt withthe tonic properties of choicest hops, is a boontothe dyspeptic. The system easily and thoroughly assimilates the nourishment offered in this predigested form. The appetite is stimulated, causing a desire for and making possible the digestion of heavier foods, thus assuring a speedy return of health. Pabst Extract, The ‘‘Best’’ Tonic, being a predigested liquid food, is wel- comed by the weakest stomach. It relieves insomnia, conquers dyspep- sia, strengthens the weak, builds up the overworked, helps the anaemic, feeds the nerves, assists nursing mothers and invigorates old age. At All Druggists — Insist Upon it Being Pabst Booklet and Picture, “Baby's First Adventure,” sent free on request. PABST EXTRACT CO. DEPT. 12 MILWAUKEE, WIS, |Roam where you will, Rest where you please | There is ne beverage that will afford so much lasting comfort, enjoyment and henest as Evans’ Ale THE IDEAL BEVERAGE FOR SUMMER HOME, CAMP or YACHT | In “Splits” as well as regular-size bottles ©. H. EVANS & SONS, Hodson, N.Y. comicbooks.com