Life — August 6, 1908 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ERFE == AUT SCISSORS THE FOOD FADDIST 1 pity him, He looks poor fellow! very yell so very hat has him in conditio jat beneath his skin, utrition Ile fears a lurking peril In everyth He has his water boiled, His food is disinfected not sterile. As soon as it’s selected— consequently spoiled toes, With antiseptic washes He never fails to trea He has a most surprising Hobby of analyzing Things that he means to eat. beets and squashes It's all so una ing. His appetite is failing, His health is sure to break, And yet he has the gall to Suppose he has a call to Warn me against my state. —Chicago News. OLD NOUNS WITH NEW MEANINGS uightless man’s idea of progress. The unrepeated secret of a gossip. 1d of ignorance and self-reliance. Hope—To-morrow's veneer over today's disappoint. meni Diplomacy—The art of politely getting what you want Trouble—The one thing that any one can readily f Filthy Lucre—What all your neighbors are striving but not yourself. Comfort hat which the ignorant think is the same thing as happiness. Clubs—Homes maintained by many who seldom for the convenience of 2 few who have no to go.—Success. simultaneously in the dvance. Single current copies, 1 $5.0a year ar: to Canada, 82 cents. date of publication, 25 cents. ution evill be returned wiles ‘ale by all Newsdealers in ited States, Great Britain, Canada and Additional pestage to foreign countries in the Postal Aut NULLUS NOT A FOREIGN MINISTER The Reverend Edward Everett Hale, 2 of the Senate, went over to the State Department a short y Root, He didn’t ke was diplom y at the Department, when only diplomatists are received during certain hours. He started to go into Secretary Root's office whe a messenger stopped him “Are you a foreign minister?” replied Hale, “1 and that settled th time ago to see Secret: wit Doctor am a domest minister,” Post. THE FISHING SEASON OPENS “CONSIDER THE LILIES” A woman's dress, ‘tis said, from scarf to sole, From toque to toe, from lingerie to locket, Should, tout ensemble, make a perfect whole, Tt often does so—in her husband's pocket. —M. A. P. A PRACTICAL SUGGESTION It was his first Sunday school and he + ts’ department eagerly watching the suy-r board. Th one strai iMustrate the lesson on th tendent drew the path to heav and started the figure of a man on it. the man became larger and larger and fin, he arrived at the gate of heaven he could + The superintend: d to his STARTING BUSINESS Bah jove, I'm going into business. Made ing already, don't ye know.” How's that?" Ordered my tailor to make me a busines .ouisville Courier-Journal. HAD HER OWN “Can a secret?” he The woman drew herself up proudly. “You have known me for ten years, hay che replied Yes.” “Do you know how old Tam? "Ios: ald ’ THE LAST WORD ABOUT THE THIRD TERM he issue somebody contended that T Roosevelt became a dictator at an early age d so to the present day. The following s eppears to demolish that contention: Kurirg the recent Congress of Mothers at Was ton the President and Mrs, Roosevelt pers ceived the delegates at the White House. in meeting the President, gave him from her little son: “ Tell the President J want him to run for another term.” Mr. Roosevelt laughed heartily at this, but Mrs Roosevelt at once made reply: “Tell your little bor he can’t. I won't let him.” cess. DID HE SEE THE POINT? A young woman of the official set in Wash at a public function found herself bored by the atte tions of a fresh young man, the son of a Senator Soon after his introduction he proceeded to remit her with a story of some adventure in which he So! 1 as hero. Did you really do that?” ing what else to say. “I done it! was the proud response, and ke be gan forthwith another lengthy narrative, more sat ling even than the first. The young woman aga politely expressed her surprise. “ Yes," said the hero, “that’s what I done!” A third story followed, with another ‘I done it!” whereupon the girl remarked: “Do you know, you remind me so strongly of Banquo’s ghost in the play.” “Why?” “Don't you remember that Macbeth said to tt ghost: ‘Thou canst not say I did it! yeu be trusted with she asked, not knoe Ruilding, Chancery Lane. 1 also at Siarbach’s Back numbers, after three St. Georges. Paris Yi permission obtained In apany, Rreams ws Exchanges, 1, Via Firenze, Milan The text and ilhedtrations inl 37 Ave, de Open, ware, W, Lond: England. Acrxts. Rrentani ‘ew Coventry Street, Leicester § Mavence. Germany. are copyrighted, and are not to be reproduced withost th Prompt notification shonld be sent by subscribers of any chance of address. lise POSITION UNRIVALLED IN “Reduced LONDON, ENGLAND. Snelusioe LANGHAM HOTEL, Portland Place and Regent St., London, W. FAMILY HOTEL OF THE HIGHEST ORDER In Fashionable and Healthy Locality. Terme during Cuuquet and September Not an innovation. Not a fad. PHILIP MORRIS © ORIGINAL LONDON CIGARETTES have been the first choice of experienced smokers for over half a century. | CheaperThan Horse Goes as fast and as far as you like under all cond roads. Surrey develops 16-H-P, Runs from twoto thisty miles per ‘goes thirty miles on one gal. ga KIBLINGER MOTOR VEHICLES est pleasure and vehicte— never tire troubles. Hook of ts Siures and prool free. froma $125 wp a» of body. Wei ng to style today W. H. Kiblinger Co., Dept. 53, Auburn, Ind! as of wextes Among th Ohio town 4 his zeal @ perio each we Don't notify u the old Notice the foll UFE, 17 Ccomicbooks.com