Life — July 30, 1908 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

UT SCISSORS Aut NULLUs THE FOOD FADDIST I pity He looks so very yellow, He seems so very thin. Some feed that has nutrition Might put him in condition, Put fat beneath his sI him, poor fellow! He fears a lurking peril In everything not sterile. He has his water boiled, His food is disinfected As soon as it’s selected— And consequently spoiled Potatoes, beets and squashes With antiseptic washes He never fails to treat He has a most surprising Hobby of analyzing Things that he means to eat. It’s all so unavailing, His appetite is failing, His health is sure to break, And yet he has the gall to Suppose he has a call to Warn me against my state. Chicago Neves. OLD NOUNS WITH NEW MEANINGS ica of progress. J secret of a gossip. thoughtless m: Untold Agony—The unre Conceit—The child of ignorance and self-reliance. Hope—To-morrow’s veneer over today’s disappoint- Speed—, Diplomacy—The art of politely getting what you T: —The one thing that any one can readily Filthy Lucre—What all your neighbors are striving for, but not yourself, Comfort—That which the ignorant think is the same thing as hap Clubs—Homes use them, for the convenience of a few who maintained by many who seldom ave no better place to go NOT A FOREIGN MINISTER The Reverend Edward Everett Hale, Chaplain of the Senate, went over to the State Department a short time ago to see Secretary Root. He didn’t know it was diplomatic day at the Department, when only diplomatists are received during certain hours. He started to go into Secretary Root's office when a messenger stopped him. Are you a foreign minister?" “No,” replied Doctor Hale, “I am a domestic minister,” and that settled that.—Saturday Pos THE FISHING SEASON OPENS “CONSIDER THE LILIES” A woman's dress, ‘tis said, from scarf to sole, From toque to toe, from lingerie to locket, Should. tout ensemble, make a perfect whole. It often does so—in her husband's pocket, <M. A. P. A PRACTICAL SUGGESTION oe It was his first Sunday school and he sat in the! fants’ department eagerly watching the superintene ent illustrate the lesson on the board. The supens, tendent drew the path to heaven—one straight line and started the figure of a man on it. Gradually the man became larger and larger and finally whe: he arrived at the gate of heaven he could not get ix The superintendent turned to his small audience d, in a tragical and sorrowful tone, said: * You ¢ he is so puffed up with sin that he cannot enter “Try him sideways, mister, try him sidewayy” came the small shrill voice from the infants’ depan, ment.—Philedelphia Ledger. STARTING BUSINESS “Bah jove, I'm going into business. ginning already, don’t ye know.” “How's that?" “Ordered my tailor to make me a business suit” Louisville Courier-Journal. HAD HER OWN “Can you be trusted with a secret?" he asked The woman drew herself up proudly. “You have known me for ten years, haven't you?” she replied. “Yes.” “Do you know Herald. THE LAST WORD ABOUT THE THIRD TERM In the May issue somebody contended that Theodore Roosevelt became a dictator at an early age and bas continued so to the present day. The following story appears to demolish that contention: During the recent Congress of Mothers at Wash ton the President and Mrs. Roosevelt personally re ceived the delegates at the White House. One woman, in meeting the President, gave him this message from her little son: “ Tell the President that J want him to run for another term.” Mr. Roosevelt laughed heartily at this, but Mn. Roosevelt at once made reply: “Tell your he can’t. I won't let him."—Success. DID HE SEE THE POINT? A young woman of the official set in Washingtoa at a public function found herself bored by the atten tions of a fresh young man, the son of a Senator. Soon after his introduction he proceeded to regale her with a story of some adventure in which he bad figured as hero. “Did you really do that?” she asked, not know ing what else to say. “I done it!" was the proud response, and he be gan forthwith another lengthy narrative, more start ling even than the first. The young woman agais politely expressed her surprise. * Yes,” said the hero, “that’s what I done!” A third story followed, with another “I done it!” whereupon the girl remarked: “Do you know, you remind me so strongly off Banquo’s ghost in the play.” “Why?” “Don't you remember that Macbeth said to d ghost: ‘Thou canst not say I did it Made a be how old I am?"—Washingtos ed every Thursday, simultaneously in the Uni $5.02 year in advance. Additional pw Union, $1.04 a year; to Canada, $2 cents, Single current cop months from date of nublication, 28 cents. No contrite tll be returned unle Lirw is for sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain, IN educed | LONDON, ENGLAND. ic * | LANGHAM HOTEL, Portland Place and Regent St., Londen, W. FAMILY HOTEL OF THE HIGHEST ORDER In Fashionable and Healthy Locality. POSITION UNRIVALLED d States, Great Ke to foreign ¢ 8. 10 cents. companied by tamped and addressed envelope. The International News Company, Breams ‘tain, Canada and tries in the Postal Back numbers, after three also at Saarbach’s News F: Ruilding, Chancery Lane, Londoa, E. C., England, changes. 1, New Coventry St, Georges. Paris: 1, Via Firenze, Milan The text and alustrations im Live are copyrighted, and are not to be reproduced without i permission obtained im advance, Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address. Acexts. Brentano's, 37 treet, Leicester Squai Mayence: Germany, Not an innovation. Not a fad. PHILIP MORRIS ORIGINAL LONDON CIGARETTES have been the first choice of experienced smokers for over half a century. ~ | CheaperThan Hors Goes as fast and as far as you fike under all conditions of westber roads. Surrey develops 16-1-P, Runs from twoto thirty miles per best, gots thirty miles oa ove gal. gasoline. KIBLINGER MOTOR VEHICLES Rest pleasure and business vebicle— never gets tired—eo tire troubles, Book of thets, figures and proof free. Prices from $375 up according to style of body. Write today. Arran by yuic be mad E fo coun within | Selectec fresh fo $3.00 A boo. tions— will be. wo as *L ear, he was 2 his zeal i addition Bicase present “id