Life — July 23, 1908 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

94 Life’s Wall Street Column MONEY IS EASY. "TAREE LIFE’S Marriage Contest—The Winners l J its issue of March 26, 1908, Lire made its first. announcement of a marriage contest with a double set of prizes for six contestants who should, in the judginent of Lirr’s editors, send in the cleverest replies. The day after the publication of this issue the contributions began to come in. They came from North, South, st and West, from all over the world. The mere labor of sorting them out was large, and when it came to pub- lishing them all, it would have taken six months of Lire with nothing else in it. We ask the indulgence of our readers who failed to see their particular con- tributions in. print. From all the answers received a care- ful selection was made for publication and for several weeks Lire has been publishing these contributions, From these the winners have been selected as follows: Waitten ny Women, First prize. Won by Miss Mary M. Thompson, Waterloo Row, Frederick- ton, New Brunswick, Canada. No. 1. That lively wit, which much appeals to me The wandering life, by vagrant fancy led, Bid me forget the truth, that men may be Sweet “April when they woo, December when they wed. Second Prize. Won by Mrs. Charles H. Annin, Leroy, N. Y Now ‘tis purely inferential (also strictly con- fidential), but its wealth, that great essential, I incline, So the millionaire I'm wooing with a view to his undoing when the gold I am pursuing shall be mine; There's another great essential (also purely inferential), ‘twould extremely provi- dential prove to me If, to make me more contented, he reluc- tantly consented that among the late lamented he would be. Third Pr Won by Lady Carter, Government House, Barbados, B. W. I. The Editor (by folly led) Has asked me “which I'd like to wed.” The question in my case would be Just which of them would marry me! Written py Mex. First Prize. Won by Monroe Buckley, 1320 Chestnut st., Philadelphia, Pa. No. 1, Hail Number One, I salute you. Also I salute Lire and the Soul of Things as they are, the periodical, the newspaper, the joke, the pun, the ten-cent magazines and all sec ond-class mail matter. But let belt! You, Number One, from first and last t sing, you bridgemad, you church-mad, you foe of the open pulpit. ‘I sing your jewelled neck, your wonderfully coiffured hair. I sing your long thin fingers, deft with the cards, your arms, your feet and your other members which are represented in Livn’s Picture Gallery. All these are sung by me. Also I sing your uncle, rich, apoplectic, red-faced, fat, with large red nose. I sing his huge red nose, I sing his corporation, but most of all, I sing his riches and his apoplexy. I sing your uncle, fit candidate for death's incline. And so I sing you, you niece of the uncle, the rich uncle, the apoplectic uncle, you bridge-mad, you church-mad, but withal, you amiable. I hail you, I salute you, I bespeak you for mine. Second Prize. Won by J. Tracey Ed- son, P. O. Box 112, Cambridge, Mass. No. 2, Love is the only god I know, This girl I'm bound to wed, J do not care a d—n for woe, Nor where in h—l I'm led. Third Priz Won by Alfred L. Don- aldson, Saranac Lake, N. Y. No. 3. To the widow “unencumbered, gentle, lov- ing,” I incline, Like the railway that is sloping to the heart of some rich mine. T'll make outgo for her income; I'll make solace for her woe; And can give her “economics” a dynamic touch, I know! UP IN A MINUTE.