Life — July 9, 1908 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WANTED—A CHAUFFEUR “Wanted—a chauffeur, both sober and neat And able to clean and repair, And when he’s not driving to wait oa the door, ‘And manage the pony with care. He must sleep in the stable, and take his meals out, ‘The chickens and pigs he must feed, And keep all the lawn and the grass borders mowed, ‘And the garden he also must weed. “He must work every Sunday, and clean all the boots, He must milk and attend to the cow, And put up the clotheslines and beat out the rugs, ‘And to polish the windows know how For duties like these the munificent sum Of ten dollars a week he will get’ — ‘The woman or man who inserted this ad Is in want of a chauffeur as yet —Evening Sun. BROKEN WORDS AND CHINA Mars. Neicusors cook's broken English? Mas. Hower: Ob, yes; but T can't understand why she breaks so much china. —Chicago News, Are you able to understand your new POKER AND BRIDGE Kyrcxer: I was sitting up with a very sick friend last night, I tell you Mes. Knicker: Yes; I sat up with his sick wife all this after. “on nuBBY, Loox! B. A DIRECTOR'S IDEA “This business of giving people a lot of straps to hang on to in the cars is all wrong!” exclaimed the indignant citizen. YY HAS JUST COT ITS Finst FEATHER" “That's right,” answered Mr. Dustin Stax, with sudden inter the public ought to be made to furnish its own straps.""— ashington Star SHE KNEW THE PLACE The elderly matron with the bundles, who was journeying toa point in Wisconsin and occupied a seat near the middle of the ar, had fallen asleep. On the seat in front of her sat a little boy. ‘The brakeman opened the door of the car and called out the name of the station the train was approaching. ‘The elderly woman roused herself with a jerk. “Where are we, Bobby?” she asked, “I don't know, grandma,” answered the little boy. “Didn't the brakeman say something just now ?"* No. He just stuck his head inside the door and sneezed.” “Help me with these things, Bobby!" she exclaimed, hur- riedly. “This is Oshkosh. It's where we get off."—Youth's Companion. OUR NATIONAL ATTITUDE “That's the Goddess of Liberty,” explained the New Yorker. Fine attitude, eh Yes, and typically American,” responded the Western visitor. “Hanging to a strap."—Washington Herald. Mr. Sixtc down there? Mas. Geer: Yes. Whoare they? “One is a somnambulist, one is a kleptomaniac and one is a plagiarist.”” “Law sakes! I never dreamed we were going to meet so many brainy people in a bunch." —Saturday Evening Pest, Do you see those three people walking together A TRADE PAYMENT ‘Tue Patient: Doc, I can't pay you no money, while I ain't got none, a'ready. Vill you dake it oud in trade? Tue Dexnist: Well, I might consider that business? "1 Jerd a leedle Choiman band. Ve'll come aroundt und serenade you effry nighd for a mont’, yet."—Cleveland Leader. What's your Lire is published every Thursday, simultaneous! British Possessions. $5.00 a year in advance. Addi Union, $1.04 a year; to Canada, 52 cents. Single current copies, 10 cents months from date of publication, 25 cents ‘No contribution will be returned unless accompanied by stam Lire is for sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain. The the United States, pal postage to foreign countries in the Postal rd and addr international News Company, Breams Building, also at Saarbach’s News Excha: St. Georges, Pari Great Britain, Canada and Back numbers, after three mission obtained in advance. envelope ancery Lane, London, 1, Via Firenze, Milan; Mayence, Germany i The text and illustrations in Lire arc copyrighted, ond are not to be reproduced without special per Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address. C,, England, Aces. Brentano's, 37 Ave. de l'Opera, Paris; 1, New Coventry Street, Leicester Square, W., London; 9, Rue ges, (Founded 1715) AND FINE OLD LIQUEUR BRANDIES GENUINE OLD BRANDIES MADE FROM WINE Sole Agents S. NICHOLAS &CO. New York June 25, 1908. the World Go ’Round? Of course, you already know Lire is the brightest illustrated humorous weekly in the WORLD and the most artistic. “To know him is to love him.” What Makes ‘operate Louis, Noeary, tail to 8 * Unc tifully i outing, boardiny LIFE, of course. Neverthe- less Live wants new friends, Therefore: Send us one dol- lar—only one dollar—before October Ist. You will ceive L re- ® for three monti ~ DON'T SUFFE! FROM This concession is only for new subscribers. ‘The money must be sent to us, direct, hefore October Ist. No subscriptions will be re- mewed at this rate. Address Lire, 23 West 31st Street, ew York. climate Mac and pr ot droy all just) fer Vorvign Portge, 9. Canatian, 130. etielona! u Fourth comicbooks.com