Life, 1908-07-02 · page 16 of 40
Life — July 2, 1908 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a satirical poem by Thomas L. Masson mocking both wealthy heiresses and the men who pursue them for money. The "Golden Girl" is a rich, beautiful woman in a castle besieged by suitors arriving by car, trolley, and balloon—modern transport that emphasizes their desperation and the absurdity of their pursuit. The satire targets the commercialization of romance and marriage: the men compete physically to reach her, she distributes money to the winner, then callously discards him for the next suitor ("Next!"), literally throwing him off the castle wall. The illustrations show the chaotic scramble of fortune-seekers and the girl's capricious cruelty. The poem mocks both the shallow materialism of wealthy women and the mercenary desperation of men willing to literally kill themselves for wealth and access—a commentary on early 20th-century courtship, class, and the dangers of unchecked female economic power.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
EX [8 THE and of Hope on the ocean slope Was a lovely and splendid girl. She had beautiful eyes, was a huggable size, And her hair was a mass of curl. She was sweet, oh, my! as cocoanut pie, And made all heart-strings yearn. In technical speech, oh, she was a peach, With wads of money to burn. She had lovers galore, and from every shore, Like a vast collection of spoons, ‘They rode on wheels of in automobiles And some of ’em in balloons. They climbed still higher est of the Golden By Tuomas L. Masson In cabs they came with their hearts aflame To utter that old love song, In trolley and car, from near and from far, ‘They rode or they walked along. Now this maiden slim in a castle grim Aboded—or is it abide? And a smile she cast on her lovers vast, And all of them like to have died. And otherwise fondle him And their eyes grew glad as they struggled like mad And crowded the narrow way That led to the hall, oer the castle wall, Where the land of promise lay. And whenever they stopped, out her head she popped And gave ’em a ravishing look, Which set ’em on fire and they climbed still higher, And no one his quest forsook. But on and on cach Duke and Don He struggled and fought and bled, Beneath that smile with its ravishing guile And beneath that beautiful head. Until one chap in the foremost gap, Surmounting cach strenuous boulder, By the force of his love raised himself above ‘And lay on the maiden’s shoulder. Oh, she hugged him good, while the others stood In anguish and envy grim. With eyes tear-wet they watched her coquette And otherwise fondle him. With gold she filled his pockets, as thrilled With awe they saw such bliss: And she squeezed him fine as they waited in line, And she gave him many a kiss. Then as sudden as light in its vanishing flight, Her beautiful face grew vexed, And over the wall, spurs and bvots and all, She flung him, and murmured “Next!” Spurs, boots and elt