Life — June 18, 1908 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TO THE NEW DIRECTOR OF OPERA Signor Giulio Gatti-Casaza, To you New York takes off its hat, sir! We pin our earnest hopes on you, And you'll find plenty bere to do To make us all feel satisfied. Here are some things you might provide: A chorus that can sing its port; Listeners who do not think it smart Before the end to leave one’s seat And drown the notes with shuiling feet: Scene shifters who'll do as Tenors who never have a cold Sopranos who are headache Fresh air from orchestra to rool; No garlic in the rail bird crowd; Brasses that will not play too loud; New operas given on request— New, but as good as nor Giulio Gatti-Casa If oly you'll arrange With praise the town will overflow, Most noble impresario! Evening Sun. A POLITICIAN relates that hewas making a speech last week when he was annoyed by the frequent intes position voter, who seemed bent on making trouble “My friend, disturber, “haven't you put to flight the entire Syrian army? Don't you be afraid of determining to supp d the story of how a braying ass back the disturber of the meeting, “there ain't no danger of it stampeding You've tested it."—Tit- Bits Twere are enough serious things in life without considering yourself one of them.—The Cymic’s Calendar exery Thursday, simultaneously in the Unit $5.00 a year in advance. Additional post ‘ar; to Canada, 52-cents. Single current cop ate of publication, 25 cents, Lire is publi British Posse: Union, $1.04 months from No contribution will be return Lire is for sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain 10 cents. Back num) unless accompanied by stamped and The International News Company, Breams WORRIES OF MODERN LIFE Nowadays we must not drink spirits nor eat meat; we must not smoke; the air of cities is poisonous, the air of the country too strong; the light ruins our eyes and the noise racks our nerves; shaking hands is a means of collecting microbes and kissing is pure suicide. Life is indeed growing dull and difficult. Madrid Diario TER MATCH, witstoR?”? ANT wr MAW, [WANTS TER SET FIRE TO A FEW TOUSAN’ DOLLAR MILLS! YOU DIDN'T THINK 1 WANTED To LICHT aty CloaR, pip you?" WHY, WHAT DO YOU ¥ A Maren, ay pov?" NOT WHAT HE CAME FOR A small boy was fishing Sunday and acid into the creck. Asan old man he suid: * How did you come to fail in the river, my li Teame to fish the bank was helpil dnt come to fall in the river Home Journal. States, Great I foreign counties in tl Iressed envelove. ined in advance EPITAPHS AS THEY MIGHT MAVE BEEN warrtEy, Here lies a man who seemed to think His troubles he could drown in drink (He succeeded.) Here lies a chap quite free from strife, Who dared to contradict his wife. (She's married again) A hypnotist below doth lie Who looked a tiger in the eye. (And the tiger woe.) Dear friends, here lie the bones of one Who always carried a deadly gun. (The other man drew frst) Below, a man quite safely lies Who jumped a chap just twice his size. (Take warning ) Kind friends, stop here and please take note, Here lies the fool who rocked the boat. . (Companions were rescued) Indianapolis News FOR FAMILY USE “Harold,” Mrs. Thomson began, thoughtfully, “I've bees thinking a Jot about you lately.” “Something nice?” questioned Mr. Thomson, with hopefal inflection. “Do you know,” Mrs. Thomson went on, quite ignorin husban I's bid for flattery, “that since we have lived her country and you have gone back and forth to the you have seen absolutely nothing of th “I don't see how that can be helped,” replied Mr. Thomsoa. When I leave in the morning they are not up, and when I come back in the evening they're in Led.” “Yes,” assented Mrs. Thomson, “that is $0, but at least send thent a souvenir post-card now and then. Companion. Taare, Passexcen (a5 train is moving off): Why dida't you pat my luggage in as T told you? Porter: Eh, man, yer laggage is no sic a silly as yenel Ye're i’ the wrang train, —Tit- Bits acery Lane, London, E. C., England, AcENrs. Brentano's, 37 Ave. de Opera, Paris; achin Neva Exchanaca, 1 New Covey Steet, Lesceter Square, 9 Ri Paris; 1, Via Firenze The text and illustrations in Live. ere copyrighted, and are not to be reproduced without special per Milan; Mayence, Germany rom pt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address —— In the Adivondack Mountains you can wear business clothes or a dress suit, fish, hunt or camp, play tennis, golf, bowl, dance or lose yourself among the mountains’ shady nooks and quiet retreats. You can stop at palatial hotels, boarding-houses, cottages or camps, just as you desire. The Adirondacks, the National Playground, are easily reached from all directions by the New York Central Lines. I will gladly send you an itinerary ofa trip from your home city to the Adirondack Mountains and retura (si ide trips if you wish)—illustrated literature, maps, information on hotels and incidental expenses—and sum up the entire trip into an approximate cost. Addrees J. F. FAIRLAMB, G.P.A., Room 393 Grand Central Station, NewYork 668 were a criterion of value PHILIP MORRIS ORIGINAL LONDON CIGARETTES Would command a higher premium than any other Turkish Cigarette in the world. comicbooks.com