Life, 1908-06-11 · page 12 of 20
Life — June 11, 1908 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two satirical pieces from Life's "In Their Earlier Years" section, featuring historical photographs paired with humorous anecdotes. **"The Only Way"** mocks a Martian visitor's confusion about Earth's economic system. The wretch cannot understand why coal exists underground but poor people cannot access it—especially when "a few men" own it and lack money to buy it anyway. The satire targets private property rights and wealth inequality: the absurdity of resources existing but being inaccessible to those in need. **"Important"** and **"The Long and Short of It"** are brief humorous exchanges about teaching and clothing. The identifiable figures include Joaquin Miller, Lotta Crabtree, Clara Morris, Whitelaw Reid, and Charles A. Dana—all prominent 19th-century figures shown in their younger years.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
640 In Their Earlier Years JOAQUIN MILLER IN THE stxtIES Important ZACHER: What is the total population of the globe ? Swart Boy (promptly): One and one-half billions. Lite Girt (raising her hand): Please, n, we have a new baby brother in our THE HON. WHITELAW REID IN THE SIXTIES ‘LIP E- The Only Way HE Man from Mars wandered into a mammoth hall packed with people who were engaged in sucking their thumbs and crying for mercy. “What is the trouble?” from Mars. “We are cold,” answered an ill-clad wretch as he blew on his fingers. “Why don’t you put coal in the stove?” asked the Man from Mars. We have no coal.” But there is coal in the ground. Why don’t you go and dig it out?” “Tt does not belong to us.” “To whom does it belong?” “Tt belongs to a few men.” “Well, how can it be secured, then?” “Tt must be bought, but we have money with which to buy it.” asked the Man CLARA MORRIS IN THE SEVENTIES uals own the land How did they get “You say that indi containing the coal? it?” “The law gave it to them.” “Who made the law?” “Our ancestors.”” “Why don’t you make a law which will take it away from them? “The Constitution won't let us.” “Who made the Constitution ?” “Our ancestors.” “Why don’t you take it without law?” “That would be immoral.” “Who nfade the morals?” “Our ancestors.” “What are you going to do about it?” asked the Man from Mars, finally. “We have sent for a spiritualist to see if In Their Earlier Years LOTTA (USS CRABTREE) IN TIE LATE SIXTIES. he can’t get us some advice from our ances- tors,” answered the poor wretch, Ellis O. Jones, The Long and Short of It OND MOTHER (to overgrown Gladys) That dress, though last year’s, must do you, child. Yes, mamma, but the The dress is last year's, year’s! WE LATE MR. CHARLES A. DANA IN THE SIXTIES