Life — June 4, 1908 — page 39: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Mummy and the Yorkshireman ADY DUFF-GORDON was describing, at a dinner in New York, the visit that she paid to Chinatown under the able guidance of Chuck Con- atk was a most interesting visit,” Lady Duff-Gor- goa said, “but I could not understand the English of , nor could I understand the intricacies of smoking, the Chinese acting and the other novel things I saw. er, I must have appeared very ignorant | —as ignorant as the Yorkshireman who came to London to sce our famous British Museum. | “Unfortunately, the Yorkshireman chose a close day for his visit, and the policeman at the gate, when he presented himself there, waved him away. But I must come in,’ said the Yorkshireman. ‘P've a holiday on purpose.’ > matter,’ said the guardian, ‘This is a close day, and the museum is shut.’ What! Ain't this public property ?? “Yes, admitted the policeman; ‘but,’ he cried, excitedly, ‘one of the mummies died on Tuesday, and do you begrudge us one day to bury him in?? “(Oh, excuse me,’ said the Yorkshireman, i hushed voice. ‘In that case I won't intrude’”— Washington Star. “[N YOUR opinion,” asked the member of the in- ves! g committee, “what is the cause of the evident unrest among the Indians?” | Comanche Pete, the noted scout, blew a cloud of smoke into the atmosphere. he took his pipe out of his mouth. "he answered.—Chicago Tribune. A Formula of Potentates : What does the janitor call you now? : My people.—Evening Sun. A Child’s Advice 'HE Sunday school was about to be dismissed, when the superintendent arose, to the disgust of nearly all the children, who thought the session had teen Jong enough, and announced, “And now, chil- dren, let me introduce Mr. Smith, who will give us a short ta nith smilingly arose and, after gazing im-| pressive ly around the classroom began with, “I hardly know what to say,” when the whole school was convulsed to hear a small, thin voice back in the rear lisp: “Thay amen and thit down!"—Ladies’ Home Journal, Getting Even with Fra Elbertus E! . BERT HUBBARD says he was nearing the end a lecture before one thousand attentive in- mates of a State insane asylum, when an old woman screaming down the aisle, waving her arms I can’t stand this nonsense any t,”” said the superintendent to Mr. Hubbard, “is the first sign she has shown of returning sanity.” Success, Sign of Precocity RST MAGAZINE EDITOR: I believe my youngster is cut out for an editor. Stcoxp Eprror: Why so? “Everything he gets his hands on he runs and throws into the waste-basket!”—Lippincott’s. Our Transterranean Navy DMIRAL EVANS'S Chief of Staff says: “The battleship can go to any part of the world if is provided.” A. DE LUZE & FILS BORDEAUX CLARETS | are! SAUTERNES ess SOLD BY JOHN WAGNER & SONS NEW YORK PHILADELPHIA S. C. HERBST IMPORTING CO., MILWAUKEE GOLDBERG, BOWEN 4 CO., SAN FRANCISCO S. S. PIERCE CO., BOSTON GENERAL AGENTS FOR THE UNITED STATES does away with the old supposition that Water was also necessary—Cleveland Plain Dealer. THE PIANO ALL CAN PLAY AND ENJOY vain ANY ont and every one (irrespective of musical training) can play, enter- ‘any anc all camer of rosc to the fullest extent with the add a ihe AUTOPIANO. ‘Tiosmarloudy fil fmtrment maker olayen tod places at our mepcaiion one AUTOPIANO is essentially sly the prano for the tome and drawing- room because every one can play it—player and non-player abke. It is the worl rate cetera nae “vas aed reg, socal elie calivited net ow cam play o0d ibe AUFORARO Oe ee ly advantageous features (exclusively our own patents) mais Sian other player pianos, irrespective of price, makes the AUTO- Teedstac brechare ling all about the AUTOPIANO ia « readable and poeretie wis eat bew es tpghcabon. Prices Range from $450 to $750. PLAYABLE BOTH BY HAND AND THE AUTOPIANO COMPANY PERFORATED MUSIC ROLL. 619 to 629 West 50th Street New York City RIFLES, SHOTGUNS AND AMMUNITION Winchester guns are made for all kinds of shooting, and Win- chester ammunition for all kinds of guns. They are made so well and of such carefully selected materials that they are above comparison or criticism. If you want results, not regrets, accept only Winchester make of guns and ammunition when buying. Send address for Catalogue of Winchester—the Red W Brand—Ouns and Ammunition, WINCHESTER REPEATING ARMS CO., -+-+ - NEW HAVEN, CONN. comicbooks.com