Life — May 7, 1908 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HEN the man who cuts up live ani- mals for “class demonstration” and for his own personal satisfaction is de- nounced by a disgusted public he often re- torts: “We sacrifice a dog to save human being: Although weak as an argument, it is cer- tainly based upon a substantial falsehood. And whenever we hear it we recall the anecdote of the bishop who inquired, with solemn severity consent to the vivisection of an animal to save your child?” “Yes,” the mother replied, “and to the vivisection of yourself and of all the bishops in England.” The gentleman's answer is not recorded. He may have retreated to the nearest Halls of Agony for reinforcements. Forbes Winslow, D.C.L.,Oxon,M.R.C.P., London (physician to the British Hospital for Mental Diseases; physician to North London Hospital for Consumption), etc., ete., said: “In my opinion vivisection has opened up no new views for the treatment and cure of diseases. It is most unjustifiable and cruel, and in no way advances medical science.” “Madam, would you not RUNNING DOWN RELIGION Lire's Marriage Contest Men No. 3 For love, dear Three, your years might be ‘An anodyne. Hut please incline Your ear, staid Crarsusyne, to me: T crave no minor—just a mine. No. 1 ‘To speculators I incline— ‘The coffee king ‘twill be; A merry life will then be mine When he's away from me! No. 3 Now, Number Three, if you'll be mine T somehow feel and know We could slide right down Live's incline Without one thought of woe No. 1 “At home but seldom’ 'd be free, tho” wed; Hence to the coffee merchant I incline. <o conversation dull if by bim led— A daring plunger and a wit for min No. 2 A gentle disposition must to happiness incline, And who ts fond of work, I'd like to know! Pray let your next engagement, too, be mine; T'll risk the income, bring it weal or woe. No. 4 Lord Byron was thy prototype, I know. Yet were I by thee to the altar led, No thoughts of sordid gold nor fear of woe Could intervene when once we two were wed. ‘Women No.2 ‘Though fits of temper lead to woe, There's none without them that I know; Your faults are such as one can wed, Who'll be by Cupid's bowstring led. No. 3 If wed mid Spoi T'd be. No.1 High church and bridge! It seems to me High bridge and church would better bes Vil cross your bridge's steep incline To get to church—if you'll be mine! No. Come, Number Four, thy head incline Upon this breast and we will wed And when I sell my copper mine, You'll tread the path where “star No.t Truc, amiable, gentle and fine she must be, ‘To own a rich uncle I strongly incline, A wife of one virtue can't satisfy me, T'wish I'were Mormon to make them all mioet No.4 If of these five one must be mine, Miss ““Buuterily"" twill be, For to divorce she'll soon incline And cease to worry me have led. Pay as You Enter HE new cars on the Madison Avenuc line, New York, where the passengers have to pay as they enter, are very success- ful. Why not adopt this idea universally ? When a man enters Wall Street, prepared to make a fortune, with not a clear concep- tion of just what is going to happen to him, why not settle the matter at once, and make him pay as he enters? When, with a fond and trusting bride on your arm, as you prepare to walk up the church aisle, why not pay as you enter? If you are a timid and trusting people, and think you can trust a man to be Presi- dent, why not pay as you enter into rela- tionships with him(and not wait until after) ? When, as an insurance president, or the head of a trust company, you enter upon a career of graft, under the delusion that everybody can make money like Carnegie, and not suffer too much for it, why not pay as you enter? Why not pay as you enter the Senate? Or, to make it a complete job, why not pay for the whole affair as you enter this world, and not—as many suppose— Afterwards?