Life — April 9, 1908 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

NS A BALLADE OF WHEELS AND THINGS HIS ATTORNEY Time was when Molly thought a “bike” A man arrested for murder was assigned a sh Was just the thing, and every day crude appearance caused the unfortunate prisoner Her little wheel spun down the pike judge Over the hills and far away Is this my lawyer?” c she hit was my dismay, es.” replied his Honor with aching brow; “Is he going to defend me?" But is now passé, “Yes.” For Molly wants an airs “If he should die, could I have another?” Tittle sticks she used to hike “Can T see him alone in the back room for a few minute Across the links, her suit of gray Shirt Stovies, And sweater red, and caddy, Mike She raved about them—wh And likewise tennis and croq) Her trim canoe? —Well, anyhow, These things have all become passé, For Molly wants an airship now Last year an auto was her strike— And, oh, the hills I've had to pay! She kissed me then and said she'd like A motor-boat—what could T say? She knows T cannot say her nay. ‘That to her fancies T must bow qeNs Yeu uecLSCODREI" Bat both of these were seon pa For Molly wants an airship no BREAKING IF CENTLY Bridge, roller skates, her ponies gay, “Pardo sir,” began the portly person in the railroad Angoras, bull-dogs—T'll allow train to the man who sat next to him, “but what would you say Molly herself is not passé if Psat on your hat?” For Molly wants an airship now ‘ ne you sit on it and then ask me,” suggested the ether —From “Kimona Ballads: Some cheerful rhymes jor loafing “1 did” admitted the portly person, calmly:— Harper's times® by Charles Coleman Stoddard. Copyright, 1908, Calkins and Company, New York. Raisttt certainly ought to go into comic opera. A brigand Aw, 1 suprose don’t keep puppy biscuits in this who keeps an account of some thousands of pounils in the state Lenighted village? lank of the kingdom he plunders is quite the most up-to-date "Ob, yes, sit. Ina bag, of eat 'em ‘ere, sit?" —The Tatler figure in humor.——The Sporting Times SONG OF PARTING Why should the maids all marry whom I take in my omples? What is there in my service that suggests connubic joy? 1 always tey my Lest to get the plainest ones I can, Or choose the feeble, of the old, to pain the eye of man But e’er I've had them many moons, they come to me and sy, “Llofe my Yon. 1 mary heem,” and vanish wi —Woman's Home Ce VERY CONSIDERATE “Fool! exclaimed a fop at his dub, throwing down the morning paper. “Jones, you voted for Roosevelt. Won't yo, admit now that he’s made a pretty bad mess of things try to mix in on Wall Street ?"” “Well,” said Jones, advisedly, “that scems to be the geeen} impression that prevails among the masses."” “1M have you understand, sir, that Tam not one of te masses “1 know that,” yawned Jones, getting up. 1m’ merely out of consideration for your feelings.” — Fiery Moge Extact from the correspondence of an Indigent Mecter of Society am much rejoiced, dearest uncle, that T shall se you e Monday, and will be at the station to meet your train. Asve have not looked upon one another's faces for years, hold a fe pound note in your hand, so that I may easily recognize yee T myself will be holding the document which rep most immediate necessity in the pecuniary line.” —Sprieg Times THE ILLEGIBLE THREE WORDS Representative Cushman, of Washington, came to S Cannon with a letter written by the Speaker himself Mr. Speaker,” he said, "T got this letter from you yesters and I couldn't read it, After I studied it quite a spell I shorn it to twenty oF thirty of the fellows in the House, and, tetere: us, we have spelled out all the words except those last thr We can't make them oat, I want to know if you won't those last three words? Uncle Joe tonk the letter and studied it “Those last three words that stuck you and everyhndy “are ‘Personal and Confidential."""— Chicago Erennt Lire is published every r i British Powessions. $5.00 a a ia the Post to Canad : ate of publicatic The tet and dustrati No contribution ‘will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addressed envelope. mission obtained in a Lire is for sale hy all Newsdealers in Great Britain. The International News Company, Breams 5 Sportsmen, Athletes and men about town desiring a true, quick- acting, delicious tonic-restorative, of permanent benefit, find nothing equal to “Underberg” Bitters. It is positively unvarying in quality— famous for over 60 years. Creates a healthy appetite, and pro- motes digestion. In the camp, traveling, at home, at the club, wherever you are you'll find it invaluable. 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