Life — April 2, 1908 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Nyblw PUBLISHER TO AUTHOR (Modern style) Herewith enclosed please find oar check (And cash it right away) ‘ For royalties. (Your new Look sells Ten thousand every day.) ‘The fiftieth edition soon Will meet the public glance. (You'll find our check enclosed for that— Ten thousand—in advance.) So great a sale we never knew: All weather now is sunny Send on another book—if you Have room to store the money! Atlanta Constitution. ‘Two Scotch travelers, a merchant and a farmer, were discuss+ ing political economy in a railroad carriage. After a while the merchant filled his pipe, and settled back for a comfortable smoke. The farmer took his pipe from his pocket and, after gazing longingly at its empty bow], asked his companion for a match. The merchant selected one from a large boxful and handed it over. Said the farmer: “1 am afraid I've come away wi'out my baccy pouch.” “Well,” said the merchant, holding out his hand, “then se'll no be in need of that match."—Tke Bellman. “WE WILL PUT YOUR NAME ON FILE Netpy Oxr: I say, old man, could you lend me a dollar for a day oF two? Tne Orne Or: My dear fellow, the dollar I lend is out at present, and I've several names down for it when it comes back —Herper’s Weekly. Crstourr (looking over his bill): You have made two mis- takes in this bill, once in your favor and once in mine. Warrer: In your favor? Where?—Lustige Blactter, Astory is related of a young man whowas recently married to the daughter of a wealthy merchant. The groom did not have a penny, bat he was honest. He was so honest that he woul! not even prevaricate in the marriage ceremony. He was repeating what the minister said. “With all my worldy goods I thee endow,” read the minister. “With all thy wordly goods I me endow,” repeated the groom. This was real honesty.—Sketch A FAIRY TALE JACK AND THE BEANS TALK, TRULY LIBERAL PROFESSIONAL FasteR: I should like to undertake a fast of four weeks in this show of yours. How much will you pay me? Suowaan: I can't give you any salary, but I will pay for your keep.—Fliegende Blactier (Munich), “Yrs, Iam going to the ball as Cleopatra, but I don't know exactly where to get my costume.” “Oh, go to Tiffany's." —Vale Record. SHE STAYED AT HOME “It's all right, Mary,” he said patiently. “'Go in for politics and stand for the London County.Council if you want to. But remember one thing, the cartoonists will be after you as scon as you're a candidate.” I don't care.” ‘nd they'll put your picture in the paper with your h of curl and ycur hat on crooked.” “Do you think they would do that?" (Apprehensively ) “Of course. And they'll make your Paris gowns look like calico and say that your sealskin cloak is imitation.” “William,” she said, “I think I'll just stay here and make the home happy.”"—Tatler. A HAPPY THOUCHT Srraxcer: My friend, why are you swearing 60? Cussity: Why? Because of a blank fool of a doctor. 1 got some pills for a pain in my back, and the directions read, “Take one a half hour before you feel the pain coming on."— Harper's Weekly. A LESSON IN GRAMMAR In the mountainous sections of the Middle West the teachers are appointed with little question concerning their grammatical orthodoxy. Occasionally, however, a wave of school reform sweeps through the valleys and undesired examinations thrust upon embarrassed pedagogues. It was during one of these periods of intellectual disc that the following sentence was given: "The bird flew ov house.” Accompanying it was the query, “Is flew a reg an irregular verb ‘One teacher after another shook his head hopelessly, despite the slow, thought-inspiring fashion in which the exai peated the perplexing fact that "The—bird—few—over—the— house.” Finally a man rose in the rear and, with the assurance of one who puts his trust in logic and.a practical knowledge of natural history, be volunteered a solution. Said he: “If that bird which flew over the house was a wikl goose, it went in a straight, regular line, so the verb is regular: but if it wasa peck: wood that flew over the house, th crooked, zigzag line, and so the verb is irregular. All bat the grammar-bound examiner were satisfied with this sensible and rational explanation —Youth's Companion it went ina Lire is published every Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, Great Bri Canada and Building. Chancery Lane, London, gland, AcrNTs. Brentano's, 37, Ave de l'Opera. P: British Possessions. $500 a year in advance. Additional postage to foreign countries in the Postal also at Saarbach’s News Exchanges, 1. New Coventry Street, Leicester Square, W., London; 9, Union, $1.04 a year; to Canada, 52 cents. Single current copies, 10 cents. Back numbers, after three and addressed envelope. Lire is for sate by all Newsdealers in Great Britain. The International News Company, Breams months from date of publication, 25 cents. ‘No contribution will be returned unless accompanied by stam St. Georges, Paris: 1, Via Firenze, Milan; Mayence, Germany. The text and illustrations in Lave. are copyrighted, and are not to be reproduced without special per- mission obtained in advance. Prompt notifcation should be sent by subscribers of any change of address for Easter. Also unsurpassed as pictures for one’s home. Long recognized as the best art reproductions made in America. “Excellent,” says John Sargent. 1 could not wish better,” w1 . Abbey At art stores or sent on approval. Fifty cents to $20.00, NEW ILLUSTRATED CATALOGUE with 300 illustrations (prac- tically a Handbook of American Art) is sent for 25 cents (stamps accepted), which cost may be deducted from a purchase of the Prints shemselyes Above picture, Diana, copyright 1896 by Elihu Vidders 1896 by enn CURTIS & CAMERON, cz. func tvttn, BOSTON SUPER EXTRA, FRADE HARK Old Philadelphia's most aristocratic contnbution to favorite American dainties— ° “SUPER EXTRA’ Chocolates and Confections~80c a pound box The Whitman distributing method in- sures unnivalled freshness everywhere. Whnans “Fine” Confections Gc pound box, “VICTORIA” Confections Whanany "FORA cons wy aD Instantaneous Chocolate made in- ‘stantly with beiling milk or water, STEPHEN F, WHITMAN & SON, 1316 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia, Pa. 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