Life, 1908-04-02 · page 27 of 44
Life — April 2, 1908 — page 27: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two satirical pieces from *Life* magazine: **"Adjustable Appetites"** is a commentary on gilded-age wealth inequality. The text references Commodore Vanderbilt (a real railroad magnate) and argues that wealthy people's appetites for money are insatiable—they don't stop accumulating once rich. The piece mocks reform efforts as pointless, since corrupt officials won't be satisfied anyway. It critiques both wealthy industrialists (who keep pursuing billions) and the general population (equally greedy). Andy Carnegie is mentioned as someone who finally "got enough." **The cartoon labeled "A Clerical Error"** (illustrated by Coles Phillips) shows a priest or clergyman with a woman holding what appears to be a baby—likely depicting an illegitimate child, playing on the ironic title about clerical (religious) "error." **The brief dialogue pieces** at bottom are unrelated humor about journalism and childhood values—a country editor's dark joke about printing his own obituary, and children's banter about what money can't buy. The overall page satirizes American capitalism's endless pursuit of wealth accumulation.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
LIFE* 359 has been a matter of dispute among historians and phi lologists. The latest authorities agree, however, that they have undoubtedly a rude conception of a future state, some of their temple windows being decorated with winged creatures supposed to represent a crude form of our more highly developed angel. Adjustable Appetites HERE ought to be a contemporancous application of the old story of the railroad president—Commodore Vanderbilt, perhaps—who was urged to discharge all his conductors for stealing fares from the road. ‘Oh, no,’” he said; “what's the use? The men who are in now have already got diamond pins and gold watches. Why put in another lot who would have to steal enough the first six months to buy themselves those necessaries?” So it ought to be reasonable to say to the reformers that it is. cheaper to keep the malefactors that are now in possession” than to fatten and enrich a set of new ones. The trouble about that is the boundlessness of the contemporary appetite. There has been no.such thing as getting a malefactor filled up. In the late ten- year rush for shekels did the ten-twenty-thirty million man ease up any because of what he’had ? Not a mite. He sweated and.gained right on in the direction of one hundred millions, with- out stopping so much as to catch his breath. And the one-hundred-million people seemed just as much interested in becoming two- hundred-million folks as though they needed the extra money to buy food. And some of the dear old-stagers jogged along just as stead- ily toward the billion mark as though they were just beginning. Nobody got cnough except Andy Carnegie. All we can say is that appetite is relative, not absolute, and adjusts itself to possibilit The idea that because folks already have too much they won't try to get more has been demonstrated to be fallacious. SSISTANT (to country editor): How’s this obituary? itor: Why, it’s my own. “Yes. That Haskins chap—the dead shot—was in here yesterday looking for you with a gun and I thought if anything should happen you might like to correct the proofs beforehand.” ‘i bs Sull Better COLES PHILLIPS. ILLIE WAGGLES : Percy Ploot’s papa is worth thousands and mil lions and squillions of dollars, and Percy can buy anything he wants. Jounxy Jonxs: No, he can’t, neither! Bobby Thickneck has got a dog that runs after his sled a when he slides down hill and pulls him back up the hill on the sled after he gets to the bottom, and all o’ Percy Ploot’s papa’s old money couldn't buy A CLERICAL ERROR that dog from Bob! No, siree! comicbooks.com