Life, 1908-04-02 · page 17 of 44
Life — April 2, 1908 — page 17: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is satirical fiction about sending prominent figures on a Siberia-bound journey. The main target is **Anthony Comstock**, the famous moral crusader and censor, depicted as a puritanical nuisance being exiled. The satire mocks: - **Taft** (President William Howard Taft, identifiable from "coon coat" reference), presented as an ineffectual successor to Theodore Roosevelt - **Comstock** as an insufferable moralist whose removal benefits the nation - **Wealthy industrialists** (Rockefeller, Carnegie) contributing absurd gifts - The Roosevelt administration's influence persisting even after he left office The humor relies on Comstock's reputation for suppressing anything he deemed immoral—the joke being that even he is uncomfortable around "Chorus Girl Reserves" (dancers/performers he'd typically condemn). His final leering comment about "nice little girls" is cut off by the car's sudden departure, suggesting divine intervention spares the nation further moral hectoring. The satire celebrates removing Comstock from American public life as beneficial to society.
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-LIFE: THE START 349 fox; Mr. Taft wore a ’coon coat presented by the members of the Cabinet and Anthony Comstock had on a simple undress uniform of bare skin. Some of the gifts sent in were useful as well as ornamental. Mr. Rockefeller sent a gallon of gasoline, with a request to return the can when through. There was also a bill for the gasoline. Mr. Carnegie sent a set of Scotch plaid tires. They had been blown up by Chauncey Depew and were warranted to last forever. From the White House came a short letter. It will be read in instalments during the long winter nights in Siberia. At the last moment, just before the car started, District Attorney Jerome came up and begged to be taken on board. He said he was tired of life in New York. But Anthony was firm. ‘You have been found guilty of indecent procrastination,” he exclaimed. ‘Besides, it wouldn’t do for both of us to be away at the same time. What would Immorality do?” At Forty-second Street and Broadway the crowd became so dense that the Chorus Girl Reserves were called out. When they saw Anthony, however, many of them fainted away. Speeches were again demanded. Mr. Taft was the first one. He said: “Remember, boys, that the country is safe while we are away. About everything has happened that can, anyway. Boys, don’t forget that Teddy is a great man. When, after reading your morning paper, you get down on your knees and pray, ‘Give us this day our daily dread,’ remember that the greatest man in the world reigns over you and that he never reigns but he pours. In the meantime, if you want any more speeches supplementing the White House pol call me up in Siberia.” Mr. Metcalfe spoke as follows: “My object in removing Anthony from this country, perhaps permanently, [Cheers] and in spreading the influence of the Administration through Siberia is, 1 am sure, sufficient excuse for making this journey. But if in addition I can add anything to the joy of nations by in- fusing a little life into the Russian régime, I shall feel that I have not lived in vi This direct drive was greatly appreciated. Mr. Comstock, who had before refused to talk, now arose, fanning himself with a fig-leaf fan. “Tf there is any nice little girl among you,” he said, with an insinuating smile, ‘“‘who would like to go along, I” —— At this instant the car was started up with a sudden jerk, and in a few moments more was gliding out of New York westward on its record- breaking trip. (To be continued) comicbooks.com