Life — February 27, 1908 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

==. OUR FOOLISH. ONTEMPORARIE THE BROKER'S VALENTINE I send you herewith, by a messenger small, 's dressed in the scantiest style, In case you sho It’s issued by me as a share in my heart, Is to buy it dirt cheap, as you may at the start— I know we won't split on the price. You ask if T ever have offered before ‘The stock that I'm offering you here? Abem! weil the truth is I'm offering you more ‘Than I've offered for many a year. Ta fact, you may have what is known oa the street As “a controling interest.” How strang You insist on the price for the issue complete? — Just a share in your heart, in exchange. —Lippincott’s Magazine. ‘To break in new shoes, always shake in Allen's Foot-Ease, a powder, then patent leather can’t crack, A TRAGEDY A hotel proprietor in Kansas City once told of an amusing incident connected with the stay at his house of a rural politician of Missouri ‘The politician had come to the hotel for but one day, and he had taken his dinner elsewhere with a friend. When, on coming, to pay his bill, he found himself charged with a day's board, dinner and all, he protested vigorously. It was explained to Trimble Whiskey High Ball The best of all Whiskey Green Label. ALL FIRST-CLASS DEALERS ESTABLISHED 1793 SOLE PROPRIETORS Makesthe best cocktail. Alds digestion, ‘Agsllgatful aromatict oral wine, ta And soda beverages. A few dashe exanisite, favor and taste to and ie the tonic effect of Grape Frak. ibbott’s, Ss Important to see that it him that the American plan was based strictly on time, and that if he chose to cat elsewhere it was his own lookout. The man, however, refused to be pacified, and paid the bill under protest ‘Then, to every one’s surprise, he asked if dinner were “still on.” Upon being informed that it lasted until nine in the evening, he exclaimed “I've eaten one dinner, but I'm going to get my money's worth out of this house, if I suffer all the torments of dyspepsia."” He then rushed into one of the dining-rooms, seized a bill of fare, and ordered everything he coukl think of. When he finally reached his limit, the waiter handed him a check for $3.35. What's that for?"" he demanded. “Your dinner, sir.” “Bat I have already paid for my dinner in my bill,” protested the unfortunate man. “Tam staying here on the American plan.” “Then you should have gone into the other di said the waiter. “This is the European. plan café.’ Weekly, 1x Sout FoR Hosprtatity: The Manor, Asheville, North Carolina, is the best inn South —Booklet. ECONOMY IN EXCESS James J. Hill, the railway magnate, was talking in Kansas City about railway economy: Economy is excellent,” he said, “but even economy must not be carried to excess. Railways must not be managed asa certain New York necktie manufacturer manages his business. A drummer in this man's employ showed me the other day a letter from the firm. It ran thus We have received your ketter with expense account. What we want iso We have big families to make expenses for us. We find in y pense account fifty cents for billiards. Please don't buy any more billiards. Also we see two dollars and twenty five cents for horse and buggy. Where is the horse, and what did you do with the buggy? The rest of your expense account is nothing but bed. Why is it you don’t ride more in the night time? “John says you should stop in Boston, where his cousin George Moore lives. John says you should sell Moore a good bill. Give good prices—he is John’s cousin. Sell him mostly for cash. Also John says you can keave Boston at 11.45 in the t, and get to Concord at 4.35 in the morning. Do this— nd you won't need aay bed. And remember, what we want is orders.’ "—Washington Star. Iyasuuctt as grafting is declared to be no crime in California, ing Sing will regret that he did not go West when a boy —New York Commercial. GREAT BEAR SPRING WATER zc ~ RYN is at his merriest, jolliest best right now in Why not take a trip out there this Winter? For booklets on California write Union Pacific & -SouthernPacific . L. LOMAX, Gen. Pass. Agent Omaha, Neb. anita “Its parity has made it famous.” A NATURAL-NATIONAL HIGHWAY, NEW YORK BOSTON TO CHICAGO, CINCINNATI, ST. LOUIS AND WEST, VIA. “AMERICA’S GREATEST RAILWAY SYST 238 PPPS ECE SESE SES ESTOS ETON EET 14400606460466000 PPPS EOCENE SSE SEES: geet erees Bs 25 Cent Of all mailed teceipt UFE 7 Ww comicbooks.com