Life — December 5, 1907 — page 59: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

a century is theatre kespeare. Facters of han once Hamlet's entrance ring that, Messrs jun., th: ng Henry 1s advan- 1 of pro- Some Sharp Retorts London auction-rocin two men were disputing possession of a picture by a celebrated English , which faithfully represented an ass. Each dthem s. “My dear sir, it is of no use; I shall not give in. the painting once belonged tomy grandfather and replied his rival, suavely, “I sigive it up. I think you are fully entitled to it if sone of your family portraits,” at which there was t laughter throughout the room. this sharp retort we are inclined to rank the of the Irish girl who, caught in the act of play- on Sunday morning and being accosted by the ith the greeting, “Good morning, il One,” replied promptly, “Good Led Cockburn, after a long stroll, sat down on a. Je beside a shepherd and observed that the 9 selected the coldest situation for lying down, Mac,” said he, “I think if I were a sheep I should sxinly have preferred the other side of that hill.” The shepherd answered, “Aye, my lord; but if tad been a sheep ye would have had mair sense,” ad Lord Cockburn was never tired of relating the sq and turning the laugh on himself. Aman who was offering gratuitous information sacountry fair was disparaging the show of cattle. *Call these here prize cattle?” he scornfully said, “Why, they aint nothin’ to what our folks raised, y not think it, but my father raised the big- calf of any man round our parts.” “Lean very well believe it,” observed a bystander, sewying him from head to foot. his not every one who enjoys a joke at his own eens. The judge who pointed with his cane and chimed: “There is a great rogue at the end of zy cane,” was intensely enraged when the man lated hard at him and asked coolly: “Atwhich end, your honor?” Afriend of Curran’s was bragging of his attach- bet to the jury system, and said: th trial by jury I have lived, and, by the bless- azo God, with trial by jury I will die.” “Oh,” said Curran, in much amazement, “then ‘remade up your mind to be hanged, Dick?” — jis, ‘NOW Patsy, if it should come to a real issue, IN which would you rather lose—your money ot pres life?” , begorra, Oi'm savin’ me money for me age." —The Bohemian, Sheer Waste of Money T THE Metropolitan Club, of Washington, Justice Harlan had introduced to him a well- tom New York business man. With the apparent F230 of impressing those about him, the New "eter remarked that his incomeexceeded $100,000. ‘40d I simply have to make that amount,” he el. “Why, it costs me eighty thousand a year We ” said Justice Harlan, blandly. “Really “a's too much! I wouldn’t pay it—it isn’t worth Democratic Telegram. T Irishmen were discussing the various books ‘% they had read, A Jo read ‘The Eternal City??” J -Have you read Marie Corelli's works?” lave that.”” q ave you read ‘Looking Backwards ?"” w on airth could I do that ?”—The Tatler. What better Christmas gift for the man of the §) house? or the woman who shuots? or the boy or girl old enough to learn the use of firearms? 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