Life, 1907-12-05 · page 39 of 68
Life — December 5, 1907 — page 39: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces mocking early 20th-century materialism and social customs: **"Mother Goose to Date"** updates traditional nursery rhymes with contemporary greed. Section I jokes that fathers must work to afford Christmas trees. Section II presents a child complaining Santa "swiped" his clothes—inverting the gift-giving dynamic. Section III depicts a girl's materialistic Christmas wishes: not toys, but jewelry, luxury cars, Fifth Avenue homes, and Standard Oil stock—mocking the extravagant expectations wealthy children had developed. **"Ten Little Lovers"** is a darkly comic countdown rhyme (based on "Ten Little Indians") where romantic relationships collapse for mundane reasons: infidelity, physical flaws, parental interference, distraction while driving, snoring, financial burden (dress bills), and racing. The final lover marries and becomes "none"—suggesting marriage ends the romantic phase. **"The Crayon Portrait"** illustration shows a family gathering, with the caption humorously attributing the scene to "Aunt Rebecca," likely a sentimental greeting typical of the era. Overall, the page satirizes materialistic values, failed romance, and sentimental hypocrisy in contemporary American society.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
BY GO LIFE Be, Mother Goose to Date I YE Baby Bunting, Papa’s gone a-hunting Cash to pay the Groceree for the Baby’s Christmas Tree. I “Little boy, little boy, why do you weep?” “Santa Claus came while I lay asleep, Swiped all my socks, and my clothes on the chair. If he comes back I will soak him for fair.” MIL Wash me and curl me and set me to dry ‘That I may look pretty when Santa comes by. Dress me up stunningly in my red frock So that he'll loosen up and give me an elec- tric Landau, a gasoline Victoria, a pearl necklace, eighteen diamond rings for my right hand, twenty-four assorted emerald and ruby rings for my left, a hat direct from Paris, thirteen evening gowns, a house on upper Fifth Avenue and ten or twelve million dollars’ worth of Standard Oil stock. Ten Little Lovers IN little lovers, sighing, “Oh, be mine!” One met a new girl, then there were nine. Nine little lovers, questioning their fate; One saw her freckles, then there were cight Eight little lovers—one stayed till eleven; Papa shouted down the stairs, then there were seven. Seven little lovers—by some artful tricks A grass widow caught one, then there were six. Six little lovers—one, upon a drive, Used both hands to drive with, then thet were five. Five little lovers—one began to snore When she sang a love song, then there were four. Four little lovers—on his bended knee One was told ‘twas hopeless, then there were three Three little lovers came each week to woo; A 2 ¥i id =: Te a ae Two little lovers—with a thought to stun, She showed one her dress bills, then there was one. THE CRAYON PORTRAIT One little lover—and the tale is done; “LOVE AND MERRY CHRISTMAS, FROM AUNT REBECCA”? She was married to him, now there is none! comicbooks.com