Life — November 14, 1907 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A PSALM OF CAPITOL LIES (With apologies to Henry W. Longicltow) Lies at Harrisburg oft remind us, We may make our lies sublime, And departing, leave behind us Millions, gained by graft and crime. Millions, that perhaps another Hunting for a “paying job, A forlorn and ““lemoned leader. Sceing, may begin to rob. Let us then be up and lying, With a sanctimonious face; Still eluding, still defying, Learn to grin and bear disgrace —Punch Bert. A DUBIOUS OUTLOOK ‘The rich young man who was trying to learn to work had fallen in love with the daughter of his employer. but he found that his path was by no means clear of obstacles. “You tell me your father objects to your marrying me," he said, in a crestfallen tone. “Is it because I am in his employ? Tecan leave it and go back to a life of idleness if he prefers."* “Oh, no, that isn’t what he wants,” said the object of his choice. “He says 1 may marry you just as soon as you're valuable enough to have your salary raised.""—Youth's Com- panion “I can't understand our new hired girl, Just as soon as dinner is ready, she rushes out of the dining-room like mad.”” “That's easy. She's just come back from a summer resort hotel, and she can’t get over the habit of dodging the rush when the dining.room doors are opened." —Detroit Free Press. aE EP UT NULLUS THE CHEAPER WAY “Do you know, hubby, that when I go to Ostend 1 shall dream of you every night?” “If it’s all the same to you, I would prefer to have you stay with me and dream of Ostend.” —Fliegende Blactter we The Parrot: THAT YELLOW UP IN THE CLOCK 15 CERTAINLY A WONDER, I'VE BEEN IN THIS HOUSE TEN YEARS AND NEVER YET SAW 111M COME OUT TO DINNER, HIS BROTHER'S FORETHOUCHT A Tammany man tells a story in connect a xs held in Troy some years ago as illustrating how fully alive we Celts of that city were to the opportunities of Amer ship. During the caucus in one of the lower wars uf the city. certain Michael Maleahy was nominated for a nino on the ward ticket to be voted for at the charter inquiries were made of Thomas Mulcahy as to bearing the same name might be, as no one in th could call him to mind e's me brother,” explained Tom, with cheerful alacriy “He's not arrived in the counthry yit, but he tuk ship ara Wednesday, an’ ‘Il be here in toime for the election.” Lippi cots, an Positica lection. Some his perion boron! A STRONG SUPPORT Three-year-old George was being carried home on an iy winter evening. Suddenly his uncle, who was carrying bin slipped, and, by a superhuman effort, managed to save hime! from going down with his burden. George regarded his poner with a patronizing air guess, Uncle Spencer," he remarked, complacently, “that you would have gone down then if you hadn’t had me to bei on to!" —Harper's Magazine. A Frrxcn artist who recently visited this country has a por opinion of the enlightenment of the British public Inthe British Muscum he once overheard two men discesisg some Egyptian coins. “Them there,” said the first man, “must be three ot for tundred years old, eh, Bill?” “Three thousand, more likely.” estimated his companion “Aw, go on, Bill! Why, we're only in 1907 now! body's Magazine. FORCE OF HABIT Actor: You ran over me. I shall sue you foe damagn Can you give me an advance on account ?—Meggenderin Blaetter. ™ Born sides alike were brave." said Admiral Dewey. “Need and South, soldiers and sailors. And the bravery of the recrsts was a thing to be seen to be believed. “There used to be circulated though a good story aboot 3 Connecticut recruit. “This young man, after he had got initise fought heroically, but in his first engagement he was very nerves. “A chum of his was in the line ahead of him and whes te ullets began to fly the chum bepan to dadke. “Thereupon the recruit shouted excitedly ©" Hey, Jim, don't duck; I'm behind ye.""—St. Louis Repatti Lire is published every Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, Great Britain, Canada and British Powessions. $5.00 a year in advance, Additional postage to foreign countries in the Postal also at Union, $1.04 a year; to Canada, 52 cents. Single current copies, 10 cents. Back numbers, after St. Georges, Paris: 1, Via Firenze, ‘ The text and illustrations in Lire are copyrighted, and are not to be reproduced withest spect three months from date of publication, 25 cents. 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