Life — October 3, 1907 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIL? 18, 2 UT SCISSORS AS IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN Mary, Mary, quite contrary, How does your garden grow ? With silver bells and cockleshells All standing in a row. (BY WeLLaw sit-k-sP-n) Sooth ye, fair maid, whose mind doth seem to be Contrariwise, and who hath been yleept Mary, and is ofttimes bespoken as Marie, And who betimes the while at boardingechool thou wert Didst write thyself Mayrye, 1 fain would ask How doth thy little plot of ground wherein Rosemary, sage and marjoram and thyme Shouldst sprout and bud and bloom and bear— How doth it grow? What? Odsblood! Nay! Not with silvery bells whose mellow tune Doth even so outclink the clinkless cockleshells ! (ny re-R ALLEN ME) Look at Mary in her patch— Garden patch— Dressed her growing crop to match— What a match! The potatocs making eyes as she swiftly, softly flies Asan angel cleaves the azure o'er the heights of paradise, While the corn pricks up its ears as fair Mary's steps it hears, And the turnips turn to watch her as with gentle grace she nears Till she stops above the beets And my heart all madly beats— Ob, it beats, beats, beats, beats, beats, beats beats, beats! (ay A, ¢, swexB-RN) So prithee, fair maid, in thy garden With thy hoes and thy hose and thy hose— (Should I not mention those, bex your pardon?) Can you tell me to-day bow it grows? With its serrated bells made of silver, With its cockleshells all in a row, With its— bilver, dilver, filver, gilver, hilver, jilver, kilver, milver, nilver, pilver, wilver, vilver— Ab, there's no rhyme for that—Iet it go! (By went WIETIEN) T salute you, Mary, in the garden With your hoe and rake and trowel, And the smudge on your cheeks, and your eyes Looking scanningly over the back fence to see Who is watching. I salute the corn and onions And beets and radishes and all those things. Tam one with the tomato and the lettuce, And my heart is attuned to the soft vibration of the pease. (Traubel, be sure to put this in your memoirs.) 1 salute thee, contrary one! Contrariness, thy name is woma synonym for man. For we are all puffs of breath and heart-beats of infinity, And even now I feel a sympathy and a pang In unison with my unknown brother, Who stubs his toe on Jupiter Or gets his feet wet on the Milky Way. But, as I was saying, Is your garden doing any good this summer? (Note for Traubel: Talk to me about this.) —Chicago Evening Pest . just as stubbornness is the Aut NULLUs DON'T PUT OUT THE LIGHT In a little town in northern Pennsylvania there is a fire de- partment in which the citizens take great pride, composed as it is wholly of volunteers, Late in April a fire broke out at midnight. When the depart ment came upoa the scene only one lantern could be found. The smoke was pouring out of the building, but no lames appeared, and it was very dark Finally, a tongue of flame shot out of one corner of the struc- ture, and the crowd cheered as'the man at the nozzle directed a stream of water toward it. At this crisis, the excited captain shouted Hey there, Bill! Be careful what you dot Keep the that blaze! Don’t you sce that's the only light we've got to put out the fire by?" —Harper’s Weekly et off “He's a good salesman.” “Persuasive, eh?” He could sell the Cuban Government a snow ier Journal, © Persuasive? plow!" —Louisvitle C ANY OL! PARASHOOTS TO MEND?"” A LITERAL MESSENGER Ibis told of the late Chauncey Shafer, who bears the same rela tion to New York's * that Sydney Smith does to London's, that he employed in his law office a stunted youth of table temperament. One day Mr. Shafer returned from lunch in a lively mood, and of the Madeira he had consumed summoned Billy into necdotage he said, carelessly, “go over to the Special Term and see what in h— they're up to there. ‘The late Judge Brady was presiding over the trial of an action involving many interesting qacstions of substantive law. Hence the court room was empty save for the litigants, their counsel and the necessary witnesses. Judge Brady's kindliness toward women and children was proverbial and when Billy stood against the railing of the enclosure, his face barely reaching over the balus trade, the judge noticed him immediately. He interrupted the arguments of counsel and turned to Billy. * Well, my lad,” he said, in suave, judicial accents, “what can 1 do for you?” “I'm from Mr. Shafer’s office,” Billy replied, “and he wants to know what in h— you're up to over here."”"—Success BATHING IN CREAT SALT LAKE Bathing in Great Salt Lake is an unique experience, Flights of steps lead down into the water from the interminable platform along which the bathhouses are situated. The water is quite shallow at first, and you find a rare enjoyment fo in wriggling your toes about in the salt that forms the botta in place of accustomed sand. You are obliged to w some distance before you experience the peculiar buoyancy of the lake. First, you feel your feet trying to swim out from under you. You find it more and more difficult to walk. You begia| to float in spite of yourself, ‘Then you realize you are now sinkable. You can't sink it you want to, Throw younclf ea your back or sit down or try to swim and you bob about likea rocking-chair in a freshet. You feel as though you bad bes turned to cork. You can’t help looking at the phenomenca subpctively, You don't see ghat there is anything peculiar about the water, It looks and feels like any other bathing water—until you get some of it in your eyes or in your mou ‘Then you wish you hadn't come. Ocean water is sweet in com parison, In fact, the chemists tell us it is eight times less salty. You can't drown in the lake by sinking, but you can te suffocated to death, which is just about as uncomfortable and undesirable. We found signs everywhere warning us sfaite being too talkative o tou frolicsome in the water. When we came ut we brought with us large deposits of sat on our skin. As the water evaporated we found oursele covered with white crystals. Only a strong shower bath d fresh water o a good cluthes brush can put you into fit cond to dress —The Travel Magazine. Twat very eminent pessimist, James J. Hill, the Schopenhauer of American finance, after remarking the need of "a strotg calm hand to guide us,” and making incidentally the movemest a cand player makes when he holds a straight flush, consoles Wall Street with the assurance that he does not see how stocks can ge much lower. His opinion was the occasion yesterday for 3° variety of comment in speculative circles James R. Keene said it reminded him of the Irish coal ruiner who fell down the shaft. Pat had a curious experience The shaft was a new one, about 75 feet deep, and when the Irish tumbled in he didnot go the whole distance immediately. He lodged about a third of the way down, and his fellow-workmes struggled to save him, Pat directing the operations. Just as they thought they had succeeded, he crashed down another twenty five fect, when an obstruction caught him, and the rescur cam paign was begun anew and with greater difficulty. When they were a second time on the point of success, to the dismay of the rescuing party, Pat went headlong into the lower deep. Now all was silent; no sound from the unfortunate Hibernian. Leaning far over the o ough a trumpet: "Pat, I say, Patrick.” From the darkness and mystery of the underworld came the fl “Are you much hurted, Pat?” am not, begorra.”* “Where are ye, Pat?” “Phat’s that ye're sayin’?” “Where are ye, Pat? Where the divil are ye?” “Where am 1? Where am 1? Glory be to God, I'm oc bottom at lasht.""—New York Commercial ITS DAILY THRILL ‘The through train from the West had stopped at the hitle station where the overland flysr from the East was to pass it. “What is the populitive of your village?” asked one of the passengers 1 don’t know, sir,” said the station agent; “but if your traia doesn’t leave within the next five minutes you'll have time to count ‘em for yourself. They're all here at the deejs.” Chicago Tribune. HIS OWN INTEREST A Richmond lawyer was consulted not long since by a colored man who complained that another negro owed him three do!!an a debt which he absolutely refused to discharge. The credit had dunoed and dunned him, but all to no purpose. He bal finally come to the lawyer in the hope that he could give his some good advice. What reason does he give for refusing to pay you?” asked the legal man. “Why, boss,” said the darky, “he said he done owed me dat money for s0 Jong dat de interest had et it all up, an’ he didn’ owe me a cent.”—Harper’s Welly. Lire is published every Thursda: British Possessions. $5.00 a year in advance Union, $1.04 a year; to Canada. 52 cents three months from date of publication, 25 cents. No contribution will be returned unless accom panied by stam ped and addressed envelope. ‘The International News Compony, Breams Lure is for sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain simultaneously in the United States, Great Britain, Canada and Additional postage to foreign countries in the Postal also at Saarbach's News Exchanges, 1, Back numbers, after St. Georges, Paris: 1, Via Firenze, Mila Single current copies, 10 cents. The text and illustrations in Live. are Building, Chane permission obtained in advance. Lane, London, E. C., England, AcENts. 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