Life, 1907-10-03 · page 28 of 36
Life — October 3, 1907 — page 28: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertisements** interspersed with a serialized **romantic story** rather than political satire. The ads promote luxury goods: Steinway pianos ("Goal of Perfection"), Johann Maria Farina Cologne (claiming originality from Germany), and a perfume history book. The story—appearing to be a serialized fiction piece titled something like "Bill's Romance"—depicts a courtship narrative. A character named Bill credits his friend Josiah with introducing him to his wife Sarah Jane. The twist (revealed at page's bottom): Josiah was *previously* married to Sarah Jane before introducing her to Bill, having "planned" the arrangement because "we fit like dogs and cats." **For modern readers:** This appears to be early 20th-century sentimental fiction exploring themes of friendship, trust, and marital compatibility—likely meant as light entertainment. The revelation that the wife was "recycled" between friends would have carried different social implications then than today. The page contains no political cartoons or satire—it's primarily commercial.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Goal of Perfection Of all musical instruments the piano is the most vital, the most intricately constructed, the most delicately adjusted; and of all pianos, the Steinway is the highest expression of piano art—so conceded by all judges. No time is too long, no pains too great, no cost too large, no effort too vast to expend in achieving for each individual Steinway the goal of artistic perfection. For a concrete example, we invite you to ex- amine the Steinway Vertegrand: a piano at $500 which more closely approximates the ideal mod- erate-priced piano than any other ever originated. Steinway Pianos can be bought from any authorized Steinway dealer at New York prices, with cost of transportation added. MWuttrated catalogue and the little booklet, “The Triumph of the Vertegrand,”" sent on requeft and mention of this magazine Steinway & Sons, Steinway Hall 107 & 109 East Fourteenth Street New York Johann Maria Farina Cologne is the cologne invented in Cologne, Germany, nearly 200 years ago. It is the original and only genuine. Positive'y all other “colognes” are different from it. SEND FOR OUR FREE BOOK “The Perfume of Rayalty which gives the story of its manufacture, complete means of identification and all sizes and styles of bottles. * et bas ‘ord Garenuoer in the second it cut ovt the facsimile, TI cf Up in three styles and shapes Of bottles, which are shone heve £ If your deater does not E sepply the genuine, write fsand ve will tell you how to get it, Schieffelin & Co. New York Sole Agents for United States “That’sit! You've hit it!” says I. “I can’t write poetry or express myself, but, Josiah, if I could only strike it right and meet such a woman, I'd prove what a husband I could make!” “Can you trust me?” says Josiah. “T guess I can.” “You've got confidence in my judgment ?”” “T have.” Josiah was small and wizened, but he was great on human nature. “T know a woman,” he says, “who'll do. Yes, sir, it’s just the thing,” he went on, meditatively. “Only,” he says, cautiously, “if I let you meet her, Bill, you won’t go back on us, will you?” “Never!” s I. “We couldn’t get along without you, Bill, and Ellen would never forgive me if I was the means of your parting from us.” “Don’t worry,” says I. “I'll be true to both of you.” “All right. You come with me to-morrow night, if I can see her and arrange it.” Having every confidence in him, I went along. ‘The next evening he took me to call on the loveliest, sweetest, dearest little bit of a woman I ever saw. She had big, soulful ey She was brimming with the right kind oi womanly sentiment. Josiah said I was a friend of his and left us alone. I can tell you, it was love at first sight. We just seemed to be made for each other. In a month we were engaged. In two months we were married. Then we came back from our trip and settled down with Josiah and Ellen, And there we’ve been ever since, the four of us, just as happy as we can be. One afternoon, when Sarah Jane—that’s my present wife—and Ellen—that’s Josiah’s—were both out shopping, and Josiah and I were sitting in front of the fire cracking nuts and drinking cider, he turns to me suddenly and says: - “Bill,” says he, “how is it?” “Grand,” says I. “Josiah, I owe it all to you. Sarah Jane,” says I, “is an angel.” Josiah smiled. “T didn’t think so,” says he, “‘when I was married to her.” “You married to her!” says I. “Yes,” says Josiah. “I can tell you now, when it’s all turned right and just as I planned. We fit like dogs and cats.. That’s why we got divorced.” He tured on me calmly. “You sce,” says he, “it’s like this. You and Ellen were too much alike, and you couldn’t get along. And me and Sarah Jane were too much alike, and we couldn't get along. ‘There wasn’t anything the matter with any of us, only we hadn’t struck the right combination But we have now, haven't we, Bill?” And then the truth dawned on me. “We have indeed, Josiah,” says I. And I raised my glass. “‘Here’s to good old Divorce! Drink her down!” says I. And we both drank a bumper. OME years ago, according to P. T. O., the Princess Louise, Duch- ess of Argyll, hit upon the idea of asking the sovereigns and princes and princesses of Europe the singular question, “Of whom or of what are you envious?” The answers to this question are contained in an album, and some of them are very curious. For example, the Emperor Francis Joseph wro the lot of every man who is not an emperor.” The Kaiser w ‘There is only one man of whom I am not envious, and that is the man who docs not love his country.” ‘There was a great similarity in the answers, for the Queen of Norway, who was then merely Princess Maud of Wales, replied: “When I am at home, and looking after my own affairs, I do not envy any one; but when I have to be the royal highness I envy everybody.” —Buffalo Courier. prow antiq comicbooks.com